If you’re one of those people that traditionally celebrates Singles Awareness Day on Feb. 14, you may want to read this article.
We all know it’s coming. The grocery stores never fail to remind us. There’s hearts everywhere and little boxed candies with messages like “Be Mine.” And those giant stuffed animals, like who really buys that?
You may have been checking the Campus Cutie section of our website looking for your valentine, but you may have noticed the same thing I did, they’re all in relationships! Well don’t give up hope just yet, because I am here to help you find your cutie, no matter where on campus he may be.
If these two nerds can find love, so can you!
*This article is meant to be funny and not undermine any of these groups of men in any way, shape, or form!
The Jock: Are you one of those girls that’s into the athletic type? You may enjoy going to your man’s sporting events and wearing a shirt that says, “Real Women Date Football Players!” If this sounds like you, your man is not hard to find. First of all, look out for those guys on campus carrying backpacks with numbers embroidered onto them or look out for one of those cool laminated tags that have the sport they play and jersey number on it. They’re not hard to miss. Most of the time I found jocks hanging around the Northwest neighborhood, and usually sitting towards the back of class. When all else fails, accidentally get lost and stumble into their practice … accidentally wearing a cute outfit of course!
The Funny One: Do you have a thing for Dane Cook? Do you like a guy that makes you laugh even if that means showing you how he can squirt milk out of his nose? Have you seen those flyers around campus for free stand-up comedy shows? Check them out! Not only are they free, you may get a good laugh and find that funny guy that keeps laughing his way through your dreams.
The Tree Hugger: Are you all about saving the planet? Does recycling excite you? Well chances are you won’t find your man literally hugging a tree, so where else can you find your green guy? Start your search by the Sample Gates. There’s always someone over there asking me to sign a paper to save something or other. Your man may be that guy that holds the “Free Hugs” sign and wears the “Make Love Not War” shirt. Hint: He’s usually there on Friday’s; you can’t miss him!
The Prep: Does your perfect guy wear fashionable clothing and take the time to do his hair? Their shoes are shiny and there clothing is always ironed. I would say the area near the business school is your best bet to find this type of guy. There are always good looking men walking around in suits and ties over there. Don’t know how to strike up a conversation with your prep? Ask him if he needs an assistant to help with all those papers. He may become CEO of a company one day, and I hear they’re all about their assistants.
The Geek: I've got two words for you
The Frat Boy: Do you like those party boys? Have a thing for boys who skip class to play drinking games? Well, it’s not too hard to find 'em. Obviously frat houses would be a good place to start. These boys aren’t hard to miss because most of them walk around with funny looking symbols on their t-shirt or sweatshirt. The only negative part about going: you may not be his “one and only.” Chances are he may have hooked up with your roommate, and all the rest of the girls on your floor.
The Romantic: Well who doesn’t love a guy that brings you flowers and calls you every five minutes just to hear your voice? These beauties are rare. Check the Starbucks at the IMU or the lounge right outside it. The quiet, introverted types are usually the most romantic. If you spot a guy drinking coffee and reading poems by Emily Dickinson just for fun, chances are he’s a bit of a romantic. These men are like trying to find a pin in a haystack. So once you find him, make sure you keep BOTH eyes on him!
The Smart One: Are you looking for a smart, cute guy that will one day make lots of money and let you shop your life away at Louis Vuitton? Like the geeky guys you may find your man at the library. Hang out around the Law School or Chemistry buildings. Be on the look out for those guys wearing cute classes and carrying an important looking briefcase. If he starts telling you about the composition of your nail polish, back up, because you’ve gone too far and found yourself a geek.