Being a girl comes with certain territory. You will get your period at an inconvenient time. You will get screwed over by a guy. You will say something that pisses the wrong person off.
It’s not about what happens, it’s how you deal with it. Being prone to accidents myself, I have learned that coping with them like a lady is the key to not looking like such an ass. HCIU presents five easy ways to go from botch to betch.
So the guy you like is hooking up with someone else…in front of your face. Yeah it sucks… but it’s college. You weren’t going to marry this non-Kelley boy anyway. Plus, if he’s not pre something, he’s nothing. So go take some shots, grab his friend and do work. This guy might actually remember your name and if not, who doesn’t enjoy the prospective of a guy fight over you anyway.
The worst has happened. Yes, your iPhone screen has shattered. Welcome to the spider web iPhone club. Your friends were right you’re not responsible enough. At least now it has character. So what you promised your mom you would keep the otter box on. That thing is fugly as hell and if I wanted to hold something as big as my home phone, I would stay at home. Stop hyperventilating and call your carrier. First time offenders may catch a break. If your feeling adventurous rumor has it there’s a store downtown that will fix it for only $120. If not, there’s always that kid in Sammy (named Sammy) who will fix it and for much cheaper.
I am barely responsible enough to keep track of myself, let alone a super ID that you need to literally do anything on campus. I don’t care if you don’t even live in the dorms, lose this and you might as well transfer to Ivy Tech. Banging on the center doors of McNutt at 4 in the morning will not help you either… trust me. Luckily there are replacements that can be purchased for a small fee, but retrace your steps before you do or it might just turn up in oh I don’t know, the couch of a frat by a pledge or in your sheets a week later.
Sunday mornin
g you wake up, whether naked or still in the clothes from the night before, and you don’t remember anything. Fifty missed calls from your best friend and pleas from your sorority group message to come to the C-store. “Oh good, you’re alive.” Damnit happened again. After hearing horrifying stories of what you did the night before you thank God you don’t remember. First of all, go untag those heinous pictures of you passed out on a couch with eye makeup down to your chin. Second, send the casual apology messages to the million people you drunk dialed. “AHHH so blackout last night! Sorry hah, love ya!!!” (Side note: When in doubt, emoji.). Happens to everyone so try not to worry. And hey, at least you made it into your room and not just the hallway floor.