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Life > Experiences

My 3 Steps for Moving On From A Friendship Breakup

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois State chapter.

They say you won’t be friends with a lot of the people you went to elementary and high school with, and they were right.

Nothing hurts more than losing a friendship. Realizing that your once best friend was either toxic or not encouraging you to move in the right direction is never easy. The worst part is when you have spent years together. Trust me. I have gone through this.

I grew up in a smaller town with a select few friends. I had a best friend from Pre-K up until my senior year of high school. She was my best friend for my entire childhood, my rock, twin flame, you name it; she was my other half. Or, at least she was until I realized that we did not compliment each other anymore. Secrets that I had only confided in her were being spread around the school, and she was constantly pointing out my insecurities and the things that I had told her I hated about myself. Overall, she was just not a good friend any longer, but how could I not be her friend? We had been friends for our entire lives at that point.

A good first step when moving on from a friendship breakup is taking time to reflect. Why are you not friends with this person anymore? This is where you really learn to understand that this person you were once friends with is not someone who will help you grow into your adulthood.

The second step is to find other friends. I have three best friends that I have had since sixth grade, and they are my rocks. They pointed out the toxic friendship I was in, but, of course, I never listened. These girls have been my secret keepers, my advice-givers, and my shoulders to cry on — the true friendships I was lacking in my previous friendship.

The last step to moving on is to cherish the good times and the fun you had with this person, but always remember they did not treat you as a best friend. It is hard to look back on past memories with an ex-friend and wish you could relive those days. You have to realize how toxic or mean this person was to you in order to get over that. Of course, cherish the memories. They were a big part of your life, but remember that everything happens for a reason and you have so much more positivity in store.

Lots of Love,
Jess <3

Jessica Hogeboom

Illinois State '22

ISU 2022 | Elementary Education Follow me on Instagram : @jesshogeboom