College is supposed to be the place you find yourself, but I have not.
Every time I ever talked to anyone about college, they were excited to see what the future had in store for me. Throughout high school, I was an honor roll student, varsity sports team member, editor of the school newspaper, an all-around liked student, and involved in my community. However, when I came to Illinois State, there was a light in me that burnt out and lost that speed of life. I would tell the girl I once knew that I would do anything to know her again and I would like to take this time to say why.
When I look around at the people I have come to know, they look happy, they seem motivated, and their drive to do what they have set their mind to is absolutely incredible. I have found that the women that inspire me the most are the go-getters that have their own lives figured out, are comfortable being single, and remain true to themselves.
Unfortunately, for me, the transition to college was difficult. It was easy for me to find a party to go to or “friends” to hangout with, but I found myself feeling uncared for by them. Instead of remaining the person that I had worked so hard to become in high school, I lost myself in a crowd of people that made it seem like I had a life fit for a queen when in reality I was not being sufficiently fulfilled.
I decided to write this not necessarily as a complaint, but as a letter to reach the girls that feel like they are lost and broken too, like they have nowhere left to turn and feel like it is time to give up. My answer to you is to keep pushing on. Find something that you are passionate about, no matter who else is in that club or group. Chase after the dreams that you have had since you were a little girl and keep on running until you reach them. After I stopped and realized how angry of a person, how broken of a girl, and how far from who I once was, I made a pact to myself to do things that made me happy. Now, I take time for myself, even if it is just 20 minutes a day to do something that I want to do. I have found peace with who I was and I saw my world change from the inside out. I encourage you all to do the same.