Friendship is a valuable asset, maybe even more important than any other romantic relationship depending on who you are and what you value or need in your current stage of life.
The amount of time you spend together and the memories you share may make a friendship breakup harder than others can comprehend. Understanding the confusion between what may have gone wrong in your past relationship may be difficult to process, but undermining your emotions in this kind of situation isn’t the best either.
Similar to a romantic breakup, a friendship breakup can lead to emotional damage that you may think about for years on end. Processing these emotions as soon as possible is the best way to ensure your growth, self-care and well-being.
The following tips could be applied to any situation where a friendship ends. Whether it ended in a hurtful situation, or you drifted apart from each other. Depending on your emotional needs and other valuable traits that make you who you are, the following tips might be irrelevant or not make sense. Ultimately, you have to decide what tips apply in your life and how you can make them best help you.
- Don’t “obsess”, but reflect on your past friendship
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Sometimes, we put our emotions and feelings ahead of logic and reason.This may not be good for your mental state, as you may find yourself making excuses for people that have hurt you. Putting yourself first and not obsessing over the way they made you feel is important to look over.
This past friendship may have done everything right in your eyes, but the intentions of those that you think may have loved you could be destructive. You may think this person is perfect in many ways, but this could lead you to obsess over a certain view of your friendship. Transitioning from obsession to reflection is part of a healthy healing process from your friendship breakup.
- Prioritize Self-Care
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Make sure you are looking after yourself days, weeks, and months after the breakup.
You recognize that the routine you find yourself in is different from when you first met your former friend. You may find that you workout less and eat more or vice versa. You may find that you are not giving enough effort into your other friendships. Remember to prioritize yourself and your well-being, whether it be your mental, emotional, or physical health. Recognizing a drop in any of these categories is essential, as a lack of recognition could lead to more decline.
Major ways to prioritize self-care:
I. Eat enough healthy meals
II. Get enough sleep
III. Exercise regularly
IV. Focus on Interests and Hobbies
- Make New Friends
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You may have lost a friendship, but that does not mean you have to ruminate about what’s wrong with you or them. Figuring out you may have simply grown apart, or that you share different values are a few examples of why you should make new friends.
These new friends could be people who share different personality traits than you, or something similar. I do not know what kinds of connections you make, and this could be different depending on what you look for in a friendship. Some people like others that are completely different from them in personality, and others enjoy those that are similar to them.
Explore your options and recognize the importance of evaluating aspects of a person you’d enjoy in a friendship. This is a good way to grow and be a better friend as well.
- Learn to be a better Friend
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This goes back to tip #1, but you should reflect on your past friendship and begin to move on.
After a friendship breakup, we may move on and not think anything of it. This is not a helpful method if you want to continue to make new friends and consider the ones you already have. If you value friendship, you should continue to figure out what has happened in the past and how you can improve your next friendship.
Reflect on what you did wrong. What were some gaps that could be miscommunication? Have you grown a part? Did the lack of communication and business of schedules tear the bond? Do you think other new friendships tore this friendship? Think of things like this as you reflect and become a better friend for the next friend.