6 Signs Of Loving Someone Who Isn't Your Forever Person


We all have that one person who we constantly go back to even though we continue to harbor the same doubts every single time.  So why do we go back?  Maybe it’s the comfort of simply knowing that they’re there.  Maybe it’s because they’ve been in our lives for so long that we feel unacquainted to the idea of a life without them.  It’s a very confusing feeling to love and care for someone with all our hearts, but deep down know they aren’t who we’re meant to be with.  Saying goodbye to this person won’t be easy by any means; in fact, it may be one of the most difficult things we’ll have to do in our lives. However, it is a decision that we need to make for ourselves rather than forcing something that we know will never be what we need it to.  Here are some common signs of loving someone who is not your forever person. 


They are holding you back from reaching your full potential

There comes a point in life when you finally start to get a grasp of your identity and who you are going to be in this world.  The feeling of independence and accomplishment can be so empowering. However, it takes longer for some than others to take that step into adulthood.  When your significant other continues to take their future as a joke - constantly making childish decisions - it can make you feel like you need to babysit their every move to keep them on the right path.  While it’s nice to care for your significant other that much, it can slow you down and keep you from fully pursuing your own goals.  If you often feel your partner is holding you back from reaching your full potential then they aren’t the one for you.  Everybody deserves someone who makes him or her better and who they can grow with. 


You rarely see eye to eye

The statement that opposites attract is only true to a certain extent.  It’s inevitable that couples are going to have disagreements. However, once it becomes a matter of sacrificing your own personal beliefs and characteristics you should get out of the relationship.  If you feel uncomfortable expressing your opinion with your partner, then they are not the one for you.  Disagreeing on little issues is common in relationships, but if you can’t see eye to eye on matters that are considered bigger deals, such as the way you conduct yourself in public, treat the people around you, and much more, then the relationship is most likely not worth completely changing yourself.  A friend once told me it is possible to love someone but not like them, and this statement couldn’t be truer.  If you truly love and care about someone, but do not like who they are as a person, then the relationship is not meant to be. 


You wish you had more in common with them

It’s hard to imagine a future with someone who doesn’t care to learn more about the little things that fascinate you.  Even something as simple as bonding over the same music with your significant other can result in the most beautiful, intimate moments.   Things like your favorite books, the tunes that help you escape reality, and all of the little things that make you, you become even more special when you find someone to share those things with.  If the person you’re with doesn’t appreciate the things that best represent your uniqueness, then they aren’t the one for you. 



You never truly feel secure in the relationship

Every couple has struggles that they must overcome.  However, if the damage has already been done because of the same repetitive problems, it can be difficult to ever move past them.  Once your partner starts exhibiting the same poor behavior over and over, it gets to the point where it doesn’t feel worth it to try to fix it anymore.  You should never be with someone who makes you feel like your opinion and feelings are unvalued, even if it were unintentional. 


You stress over the relationship more than you enjoy it

Relationships can require a lot of maintenance and be stressful at times. However, it should never get to the point where the negatives in the relationship far outweigh the positives.  If you find yourself often wondering if this is what you truly want anymore, follow your heart and end it.  No matter what struggles you go through as a couple, if it’s meant to be you will love that person enough to see past the struggles at the end of the day.  If you go to bed at night questioning what you want and deserve, then the relationship is not meant to be. 


You are in two completely different points in life

College can be a complicated time to be in a relationship because many people don’t know what they want and everyone is stressed about their future.  However, there is a huge difference between the people that are embracing the changes being made to impact their future and the people who can’t seem to lose their high school mentality.  Once there is such a divide in the determination between you and your significant other, it may be best to end it for your own personal well-being.  As college students, we are at the age where many of us date people because we have intentions and visions of being with them long-term.  It is hard to see yourself going long term with someone who is at such a different point in his or her life than you.