Let’s face it ladies, no matter how much you deny it, Tinder has been amongst the many applications on your phone within the last year. Whether you downloaded it while you were intoxicated or lonely, whether it was to browse, to poke fun or to legitimately find a man, it was an outlet for entertainment. Here’s a look, inside any girl’s mind, while she’s patrolling the beloved Tinder:
1. *Checks surroundings thoroughly, twice* Alright, I’m bored, might as well go on Tinder. *Opens Tinder app that is on the fourth page of phone, tucked in-between secret editing apps & iBooks app*
2. Let’s see how many matches I’ve gotten since I’ve last been on here. I’m sure there’s at least a few, right?
3. “(0) new connections” Hah, okay dope.
4. Hmm, maybe it’s my picture. My best friend looks way prettier than me, he probably was disappointed when he looked at my next picture and realized it was me and not her.
5. Okay, this picture from formal is much better. Subtle cleavage & a whiter smile, definitely better.
6. I am quite literally the most pathetic person on this earth, putting thought into my TINDER PROFILE. Hey, rock bottom! You mind if I chill down here with you for a sec?
7. “Andrew, 22, 5 mutual friends” Hey, maybe I’m not so weird after all. This dude looks okay. *Checks bio*
8. “Ball is life. 22 years young. I’m here for a good time, not a long time. #FITFAM.” Swipe left. HARD SWIPE LEFT.
9. “Congratulations! It’s a match!” OMG. NO. I accidentally swiped right, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
10. Is there any way to unswipe that swipe I just swiped?
11. No? NO?!? What the hell did I ever do to you, Tinder?!
12. “New message from Andrew” “Picking my jaw up from the ground after looking at you, lol *heart eye emoji*” Okay, that’s it I’m throwing myself off the edge of the earth.
13. Okay, Mia. It’s okay it can only go up from here.
14. “Jordan, 19” * profile picture is of lanky kid, wearing camouflage and holding a deer’s dead carcass in a truck* I retract my last statement.
15. I need to delete this horrible app. Did I honestly think that I would find someone that is the least bit… HOLY HELL, WHO ARE YOU?!
16. “Liam, 20, 2 mutual friends, only swiping right for those perfect tens” *admires shaggy brown hair, white smile, and great sense of style* Swipe right. HARD SWIPE RIGHT. God are you there? It’s me; please make this happen for me.
17. “Congratulations! It’s a match” YASSSS. Saying that you only swipe right for perfect tens and then matching with me lets me know that my mother isn’t the only one that recognizes what greatness looks like.
18. Okay, let’s keep this ball rolling.
19. “Josh, 21, 54 mutual friends” Shirt off, snapback and flipping off the camera but you quote The Notebook in your bio? Classic and to the point. Makes the ladies see that you’re an a**hole but a sweet a**hole. Sounds like my type, swipe right.
20. *Next picture of boy pops up* I’m sorry, no new match? Okay, you’re definitely more of a jerk than I thought.
21. *Deletes app*
22. *Five minutes pass…re-downloads app*
23. Wait, is that my teacher?! He’s only 26… there’s no way that’s Mr…
24. “26, Math Professor, ready to add a Mrs. Brooks to the equation ;)” Okay I surrender.
25. *Deletes app, AGAIN, locks phone, throws it across the room at the wall, hoping it breaks* If I have to resort to ACTUAL online dating by the time I’m 30, I hope my friends are brave enough to shoot me.