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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Tell Someone You Only Want Sex

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Howard chapter.

Ladies, I know we’ve all been in a predicament where we’ve seen someone and we felt lust. But with the double standard in relationships, women feel like they can’t express their sexual interests without being labeled a “hoe”. It is as if embracing sexual interests makes girls less classy because they, for once, have the same intentions as most men do. Society tells us it’s not lady-like to think this way but screw them.

Now the first step is making intentions clear with your future partner. You might question why does one have to do this, but in order for this to work you have to stay in control of the situation. Some people will only have the intention to have sex with you, which can be very misleading in other areas. 

The second step is to set boundaries. To further explain, if you only plan on having sex, you shouldn’t be receiving flowers from your partner, UNLESS you both agree to doing so. Rules create boundaries and boundaries protect both parties from getting the wrong idea.

Lastly, you need to know your worth in each situation. If you are positive you only want sex don’t let anyone else convince you that you want more than that. Don’t slip into a relationship if it is not what your heart desires.

Above all, practice safe sex. There is no sex shaming here, but remember to wrap things up because you don’t want to end up with a baby sooner than expected or worse an STD. Live your best life. You want to be here for a good time AND a long time.

 

My name is D'Zyre Jones. I am a Junior, Computer Information Systems major, graphic design major at Howard University. I believe writing is the key to the world we live-- it unlocks our freedom. You can find my personal blog at www.jonesinterlude.com
Deni Dedmon is a sophomore speech-language pathology major from Albany, GA. Her first love was writing but her second love was helping others, which led to her choosing a career in speech pathology. When it comes to her writing, she loves to write about everything, from entertainment (she’s an avid Kehlani fan) to book reviews (she’s been reading since the age of one) to controversial topics and current events (ya know, your average angry black girl things). Being the oldest of five girls, she is also passionate about young black girls, their self-esteem, and making sure that they’re proud of being who they are. At the age of seventeen, she became a contributor for MTV Founders and a spring writer for Affinity Magazine.