In my freshman year Montserrat class here on the Hill, I learned about a very important relationship between stress and alcohol. (No, not that more stress=more alcohol…although that may be true for some people, erm or me, erm or you, blah ya ok let’s continue.) WELLLLLLLLLL the relationship was more of a metaphor and it went a little something like this: Alcohol is like stress. If you have one shot of alcohol you’ll feel ok, you’ll feel ready to go, excited for more, and prepared for a good night of fun. Similarly, if you have a “shot size” amount of stress, you’ll be fine. The stress will motivate you to get done what needs to be done and you’ll be aaaaaaa-okay. On the other hand, if you drink a keg full of alcohol, you’re probably going to die or get your stomach pumped, whichever comes first. And again, a keg full of stress, well, it could kill you!!!!!!!!! As the semester winds down and some of us start to drink a keg full of stress, I would like to give you a few thoughts to ponder and remember when you’re feeling down:
1) At least you aren’t lost in a jungle with no water and no lobby shop candy.
2) Yeah, go get lobby shop candy now.
3) You aren’t a vampire searching for love.
4) I promise that I’m not a robot and that you aren’t the only true human being (phew, am I right?!).
5) Netflix exists; there can be no wrong in the world!
6) Run around your room and jump up and down and swing your arms and scream aabaalabaadingdong.
7) Every new person you meet is a new potential Instagram liker.
8) Nutella is real and accessible.
9) Wednesday nights at Leitrims come around every week without fault.
10) Sis is cute and nice and lets you know there’s some good in this world.
11) You were the fastest sperm and no one can take that from you.
12) You haven’t yet been kidnapped by aliens and forced to juggle.
13) You’re not stuck on an island with that professor who failed you.
14) Blue Jeans extended their hours on weekends.
15) Catalina occurs every year, even if you don’t remember any of them at all.
16) Orange in Black Stone has a $20 voucher for first time customers, give yaself a pedi.
17) You’ve never been kicked off Dancing with the Stars.
18) Campion house bakes cookies for you….
19) Go treat yourself to a nice meal at VIA or charge it to your parent’s card.
20) Google a video of a Chinchilla taking a dust bath.
21) There are less than 25 days until Christmas.
22) You don’t have to go to the bathroom in an outhouse.
23) You’re not a superhero who has to keep your true identity hidden and gets no credit for all the cool stuff you do.
24) OMG PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES ARE REAL.
25) All the holiday winter flavors are now available at Starbucks ***Starbucks Peppermint Hot Chocolate is a must!
26) You burn mad calories walking up to Hart that don’t even take into account when you workout.
27) Your dining dollars restart next semester!
28) WOMEN CAN VOTE!!!!!!!!! AM I RITE OR AM I RITE?!
29) You go to Holy Cross.
30) You’re doing much better than Britney Speakers circa 2007.
31) At least you aren’t studying in an eternal cold shower.
32) There’s no limit on the number of times you can watch the Harry Potter movies.
33) You got into Holy Cross, you must be doing something right. Just relax!