Right now I am currently on Hinge, but there was a time I had the holy trinity (Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge) and personally, I have had quite a different experience with each of them. It is true when they say each app has its own personality. I met up with guys from both Tinder and Bumble, and have had *many* failed talking stages with guys from Hinge. Since it is the season of award shows, I figured I’d explain my experiences by giving each an “award.”
Best connections: Hinge
Okay, so I have never actually met up with any of the guys I have talked to on Hinge, but I do feel like I have had more of a connection with the guys from this app than the others. Hinge, for me at least, has led to more conversations which surpassed the usual surface level chit-chat. They went beyond just the “hey, how’s it going?” “good” “good” meaningless conversations. (I mean if you’re going to match with someone, then put in zero effort, what’s the point of the match?)
One reason I feel the conversations have been more meaningful on Hinge is because each person is allotted six “likes” per day (more if you pay) and each match is more meaningful because you are not just swiping on anyone and everyone.
On Hinge, I have also had a greater proportion of conversations move off the app and lead to, sometimes, weeks of texting. Again, I have never met up with any of those guys and honestly a lot of that is because I get in my own way (I have a tendency to bail out of fear). Aside from that, I have had many genuinely good talking stages with the guys I have matched with. They did all end for one reason or the other, but I had a good time with them. The conversations were much less sexualized then ones from guys on other apps, and they were more centered around genuinely getting to know one another.
Most Matches and Most Ghosts: Tinder
Unlike Hinge, Tinder gives you a multitude of swipes per day. I have heard there is a limit, but I genuinely do not know what that is as I have never reached the limit of “likes” per day. This ability to swipe on as many people as you would like, leads to more matches because you are expanding the pool of potential guys to swipe back. However, having so many swipes makes each one less intentional. A person may swipe on someone quickly because they think they are cute. However, when matched, they may come to realize they are not your type, have a preference that you don’t agree with, etc. This then just leads to a lack of effort and conversation to the person that reached out first.x
This app also seemed to have more surface level conversations that went nowhere. In the few months that I had Tinder, there were probably around 200 conversations that one of us ended, either because it fizzled out, or one of his first messages would be “dtf” (no I am not) or some other sexualized remark (like please don’t). Yes, I do know that for many people, that is the point of Tinder. However, if I put in my profile “looking for a relationship” and he does too, a sexual remark is not something I want nor should see.
So yes, this app did lead to the most matches, but it most definitely led to the most ghosts, some by me (my bad!) and it also led to the largest proportion of just bad conversations.
I did, however, meet up with some Tinder guys, and it was honestly exactly what you’d expect. It was fun, easy, and comfortable. They were respectful and kind, but they were also liars and ghosters. It was a good time, and I knew what I was getting myself into by seeing them, but it is also not something I would care to repeat anytime soon.
Most disappointing: Bumble
When I got Bumble, I had already had Hinge for a couple months, and the way Bumble was advertised, I expected it to be an app more similar to Hinge than Tinder, but I did not really find this to be the case. I would describe Bumble as the child of Tinder and Hinge, leaning more to the Tinder side. I do like how the woman has to be the one to make the first move, and each party has only 24 hours to make a move before the match is deleted. However Bumble was where I felt there was the least amount of connections, even though they also have a lot of free “likes” per day (25 per day according to Google). Then, half the matches would disappear from one of us not interacting, and then only about one third of those led to a good conversation. However, once a good conversation started, the likelihood of getting ghosted was very low, and often moved off the app.
I wouldn’t say I have had real talking stages with any of the guys from Bumble, but I did talk to one guy for a couple months casually, and went on a “date” with another (although I would not really classify it as a date). The so-called date was actually horrible. We were supposed to go out for ice cream, so he picked me up (my first mistake) then before we even left my campus, he got upset that I didn’t know what sport he did because it was a picture of it on his Bumble profile. (We talked on Bumble for two or three days before moving to snap for two weeks where he never mentioned his sport.) So we drove to his campus because he forgot his bag, then HE decided he didn’t want ice cream anymore and started driving towards his apartment. At this point I knew I did not want to go to his apartment both because some things he was saying were making me uncomfortable, but also because that’s just not something I wanted to do, or expected when I agreed to go for ice cream. I had him drop me back off at my school after just driving for 30 minutes, and let’s just say he was not happy. He refused to talk to me for the rest of the ride back.
Once again, I feel like this “date” perfectly sums up Bumble, not at all what you are expecting, and very disappointing.
My recommendation is if you want to have a good time and meet up with someone soon, either to go on a date or just chill, go with Tinder. It might take a couple matches but it is genuinely very easy to find someone who would want to meet up. If you want to find a deeper connection and have a good talking phase with someone, or are looking for someone who is more “relationship material”, then go with Hinge. As for me personally, I think I’m done with the apps for a little while. At this point I have had Hinge for over a year, and while it has had the best “results” for me, in the end, it still hasn’t led to anything real for me. So I am going to be taking a little bit of a detox from here on out.