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8 Ways You are the Funniest Person You Know

  1. You acknowledge that you are, in fact, the funniest person you know.When you know you are hilarious you have accomplished the first step in being hilarious. You know you can whip up something funny out of thin air and you have killer one-liners. The improv aspect of being funny is one of the best aspects of good humor, so once you know you are the funniest person you know you can say and do no wrong.
  2. The only times your friends truly laugh at you is when you fall.Everyone loves a good fall. As long as you don’t get hurt, it’s hilarious. To make it even more funny, cry and act like your friends are mean for laughing. Then, laugh in their faces because you have just shamed them into feeling bad when you are fine. They will laugh even more-because you are hilarious.
  3. You rarely embarrass yourself, because you play it off with your great humor.See above. You’re embarrassed you fell? Play it off, and it’ll become funny. Talk about how you fell up the stairs to Dinand nonstop until everyone who saw gets sick of hearing it. Own it right away and talk about it constantly. That way, no one will consider it embarrassing anymore, and instead, they will wish they had never heard the story in the first place.
  4. Your friends say “I hate you” after you say or do something hilarious.Obviously, they don’t hate you. They just want to be like you. They hate that you are the funny friend, and they thoroughly enjoy your presence. Who wouldn’t?
  5. You instagram picstitches of yourself for your birthday every year.Your birthday is the one day a year you can fully appreciate you! And everyone else should too! What’s funnier than those pictures of chocolate smeared all over your face on a Sunday morning? Nothing.  Everyone should appreciate those on National Appreciate Me Day. No one else is going to picstitch for you, because everyone assumes you’ll do it yourself. So, why not?
  6. You are Schmidt.You are also Schmidt from New Girl. You have digested all of his lines throughout the three seasons of the show and spit them out at random times, impeccably mastering his exact tone and accent. “Can we just take this moment to celebrate me?”, “Why can’t I have the things that I want”, “Don’t pretend to know my pain”, and “Bathtubs are medieval filth cauldrons” are phrases you use on the reg.  You say chut-a-ney and free-ta-ta. God, you are funny.
Junior at Holy Cross. English major with a Creative Writing Concentration. Member of the Varsity Lacrosse Team.
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