Every campus has its cliques (even single sex schools). Oftentimes, students find it difficult to assimilate into a new group of friends when starting school. Whether you’ve grown apart from friends over the summer or you’re meeting new people as a freshman, it can be hard to fit into your new surroundings.
If you’ve ever had trouble feeling comfortable in a new group, you know that people, especially young women, can be isolating. This doesn’t necessarily mean that a group wants to exclude you. In fact, this is rarely the case. It is more likely that the clique is unaware that you would like to join them. They might be just as nervous as you are about meeting new people.
If you find yourself wanting to join in on a group activity but don’t know how, bring along another friend who shares your interests. Let’s say you want to meet some girls who enjoy sports as much as you do. The easiest way to meet new people in this situation is to go to the game and cheer on your team! You’ll meet other fans that enjoy the game as much as you do, and after the game you can go over and congratulate the team. It is usually easier to break into a new group when you have an outgoing wingman that is also willing to branch out.
Sometimes, however, groups are intentionally isolating. If you have tried several times to get to know someone and they ignore you, it’s time to move on. This is a very difficult situation because being rejected by a peer group is painful. Just remember that even if one person doesn’t want to be you friend it doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to adapt to a new group of people. It just takes time to find people with whom you will enjoy spending your time.
The most important thing to remember about cliquey peer groups is to not let it bother you. While some people may not want to be your friend, you have to remember that there are lots of wonderful friends awaiting you. You just have to keep looking and engaging in activities you enjoy in order to meet similarly minded people. Don’t be afraid to go to a campus event by yourself! It is also important to branch out and invite people to join you in activities you’re interested in. This is one of the best ways to introduce yourself to new people and new situations. If you actively seek people with your common interests, you will undoubtedly find your niche and feel more comfortable in your peer group.