Going abroad offers many new experiences. New country, new culture, and most importantly; new boys. While abroad you will encounter two types of potential flings: hook-ups, and perhaps boyfriends. These pools of boys are vastly different and with these differences come new challenges, expectations, and experiences. So let me break down this whole “abroad dating game” for you.
Pool #1: American College Boys
When people think of finding love abroad, their minds automatically go towards the mysterious local and tend to completely disregard the other choices around them. There are a plethora of new American college boys to choose from as most study abroad programs combine students from schools across the U.S. It’s like being a freshman all over again, but better! Not only do you get the chance to meet new people, you get to do it in a different country where 9 times out of 10 you’re in a far more romantic setting than a college fraternity party. Along with these new options comes a new spectrum of pros and cons unlike those in your typical college relationship:
Pros:
- Piece of home– No matter how many times you claim you’re not homesick, you have to admit finding pieces of home while away is comforting. This is exactly what the American boy is perfect for. Even if you attend different universities, live in different states, or have different majors you share one common thread; you’re both American. This connection can be the most reassuring aspect of your time abroad because no matter how much we love our host countries there are those times where we really just miss the States.
- Proximity- Meeting and falling for an American boy is the way to go if you want someone to bring home to meet the parents. Even if they attend a different school they’re definitely going to be a lot closer when you get home than someone from a different country would be!
- Language connection- While English may not be the prettiest language, it’s one that all Americans understand. Speaking the same language as someone makes communication doable and it allows you to be on the same page. Whether with a fling or a boyfriend, it’s always good to be able to talk about issues and be able to understand each other (at least linguistically).
Cons:
- New dog, same tricks- While getting involved with an American might be comforting, let’s face it: we’ve all “been there and done that”. Even with the new settings they’re still just college-aged American boys with the same faults they had in the USA.
- Baggage from home- Primarily because you can understand them you tend to find out a lot about these potential flames. For example, you can find out they’re a serial-cheater or are still pining away for a lost love back at the University of Whatever. By learning their back-stories it can make your American cutie into an American baggage claim. No one wants to get their hopes up on someone who is either already attached or never going to be attached.
- Party animals- A lot of young college men who go abroad do so for one all-important reason: a full semester of partying. These types of boys are not looking to settle down anytime soon and are more concerned about partying than relationships. However, if you’re looking for a fling or a random hook-up; this is the perfect boy for you.
Pool #2: The Locals
Every girl that’s ever seen “Letters to Juliet” or “Roman Holiday” knows that the allure of a foreign boy-toy is oh-so enticing. They’re new, exciting, and a thousand times more romantic than American boys. What’s not to love? There are plenty of ups and downs to dating a foreigner just like there would be in any type of relationship regardless of the country. But, there is something undeniable about a European boy that makes the thrill of a fling that much more exciting.
Pros:
- No attachment- Sometimes all a girl wants is to be wined and dined with no serious commitment afterward. There’s nothing wrong with casually dating, and dating someone from a foreign country is the perfect excuse for this. At the end of your semester abroad you’re going to head back to the states and your charming European will remain in your host country which makes it the perfect excuse for a little fling. Local boys offer a much-needed escape from the monotony of our University dating pools without the expectation of a long-term commitment.
- More engaging culture experience- Who better to show you around your host city than someone who’s lived there their entire life? By strolling around town with your local boy you get a sense of the real culture of whatever place you might be in. He can lead you around the tourist sites and probably offer you a much more authentic viewpoint while showing you the best places to grab a bite to eat without breaking your bank.
- Romance- What girl doesn’t want boys buying her flowers and calling her beautiful, even in a different language? One thing that locals have over their American counterparts is that they really know how to woo a woman. They don’t get caught up in their egos and the embarrassment of getting romantic. If they think you’re beautiful, they’ll profess it to you with no reservations whatsoever and sometimes that’s just what you need to hear.
Cons:
- Language barrier- While some foreigners do speak English, the majority of them don’t. It can get frustrating when you’re first getting to know someone. No successful relationship is ever founded without communication so unless one of you is fluent in the others native tongue it’s going to get tricky.
- Different cultural norms- Being immersed into a different culture is overwhelming to say the least, and add on a foreign boy who was raised completely different than you were and the anxiety may double. Finding common ground with someone who you know very little about culturally and vice versa can cause problems to arise. Even little things like the appropriate way of greeting their friends, going out to dinner, or meeting the family are completely different according to which culture you’re in. By not knowing exactly where someone came from socially and culturally it’s harder to figure out what their intentions really are.
- Physical differences- In American society PDA is often frowned upon but in foreign countries, particularly European countries, it is much more prevalent. From my experience in Italy alone, boys are more grabby and hands-on when talking and flirting with you. While a little bit of affection isn’t the worst thing in the world, the amount that I’m talking about is borderline uncomfortable. It’s hard to explain to a foreigner that what may be normal in their country would make most Americans extremely edgy and is an invasion of personal space.
Finding love is always an adventure no matter what location you’re in or situation you choose to pursue. The most important thing is that you enjoy your time in your host country because chances are you may never get an opportunity like it again. Whether they be an American or a foreigner, boys will be boys and no matter what us girls do we can never change that. Just keep your head up and follow your heart and you’ll have an amazing experience with whomever you decide to choose. Buona Fortuna!