When a group demands rights, there is always an opposing group crying out for rights of their own. Ok, sometimes their feelings may be valid, but all too often it is merely a majority or an otherwise privileged group making an issue about themselves. When discussion turns to the discrimination faced by Muslims in the West, somebody points out that Christians, too, are persecuted in a world of increased secularization. When #BlackLivesMatter started spreading, so did #AllLivesMatter. And at some point in its rise, the Feminist movement was met by the Meninists. When you have been in the privileged majority for all of history, you don’t have the right to undermine the rights and small victories of others for the fear of your own. In 2001, Meninists were simply men who were feminists and believed in equal rights for women. At some point in 2014, the label was stolen and re-purposed as a hashtag for a new group of males. What is this new kind of Meninism? At best it is a joke, at worst it is a dangerous movement that has completely failed to see the point of Feminism.
At its worst, Meninism still thinks feminism is a man-hating movement trying to make women superior rather than equal to men. This kind of meninism, while potentially a joke, spreads the misconception. Worse yet, some of the jokes (???) present truly disgusting misogynistic ideas about rape and subservice. No decent person should ever side with this side of Meninism.
Meanwhile, as a more light-hearted joke, Meninism parodies and reflects the feminist movement by pointing out things like “stop objectifying men” or “sometimes it’s nice if a woman opens the door for me”. That is, it addresses issues that men do face but that women have usually faced way longer and way more.
Let’s not make this a contest about who has it worse. It is true that while white men have long been in the privileged position in terms of education, career, personal safety, respect and status (things that women and men of ethnic minorities could only dream about), in today’s world where we usually see men and women in the West as more or less equal. However, no real feminist can deny there are plenty of valid things where men and boys face inequality:
- Male victims of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and more likely to be shamed – the “men don’t get raped” myth lingers on
- Societal norms still dictate expressing or taking about emotions in public is somehow emasculating
- Actually, doing anything seen as traditionally feminine – like childcare, baking or ballet – is considered emasculating… and therefore “gay” (can we get rid of that word as an insult, please?)
- Men have higher pressure to be the breadwinner of the family, a pressure seen in suicide statistics
- In divorces with family court involvement, men are less likely to get custody of their children
- While the pupils with best grades still tend to be boys, the average boy still has lower scores than his female peers. The rift between the number of men and women at university level is also increasing.
- Like women, most men (just over 80 %, in fact) feel they have to live up to body standards (have a good-looking face without makeup, have a lean muscular body, be taller than their girlfriends, etc.)
Unfortunately, Meninism completely misses the point of Feminism as equality for all genders. Separation into Meninism should be something completely unnecessary.
This has happened because men are uncomfortable with calling themselves “feminist” because they are under the impression that feminism only serves females. While this may have been more true in a time where women had next to no rights, feminism is now an inclusive ideology men have no need to feel threatened about. Feminism as a word has been spoiled by the “bad seeds” of the ideology – women who think females should be superior rather than equal to men. But this is not what feminism is about.
What if I told you that most injustices men face could be fixed with what true feminism is fighting for, i.e. equality? That men and women don’t have to separate their efforts and that helping one side helps the other? Many of the problems boil down to traditionally feminine traits, behaviour or roles being seen as less worth than the masculine ones. This is why feminine people are belittled, whether they are women (“the weaker sex”) or men (“effeminate queers”). If feminine things like showing emotions or childcare become acceptable for all, men will be freed from suppressing themselves, women will stop being called “emotional” or “hysterical”, both genders can take care of their kids and help with household tasks… If we get rid of the pay gap, equalise both genders in top positions, and normalise women wanting both a career and a family, men will be relieved from the pressure of earning and paying for more and will be able to be closer to their children, which might help them win more custodies or at least shared custodies of their children (because why should the “maternal instinct” automatically win over the “paternal instinct”?).
The school system somehow favours “feminine traits”, quietness, obedience, and cooperation. On one hand, boys could be encouraged to also be all those things, not just rowdy “boys will be boys” children. On the other hand, the school system should make room to accommodate the needs of all personalities. Meanwhile, girls still need to be encouraged to pursue more mathematical and natural sciences. This is easier said than done, not only because of savings in the education system and already exhausted teachers, but if we are concerned about equality, it is a thing we must do.
Women who don’t want to date a guy who is shorter than themselves may want to consider the times girls are turned down because of their body size. Rape should be talked about seriously whether the victim is a man or a woman and whether or not the rapist is a man or a woman.
Feminists of all genders need to talk about issues that concern all genders. If the word “feminism” is the problem, call it by its synonym, “gender equality”. Dividing rights into sub-categories such as “men’s rights” serves to mainly divide and to prevent us from seeing the whole picture. Gender rights are human rights.
Images from imgur.com and memegenerator.net