When I was a teen, I had this notion that by the time I reach my twenties, I’ll have it all figured out. I imagined my life would be settled, predictable, stable. Silly young me. Having reached my mid-twenties, I’m ready to admit that these have been the weirdest, most restless (yet thrilling) years of my life.
I often tell myself that being in my twenties means whatever I want it to. It’s up to me to define myself. But it does get complicated when I see so many conflicting messages around me. Messages that tell me who I’m supposed to be at my age, what I’m supposed to do (or if I was supposed to do it two years ago); messages that invade my space, question my values, and leave me feeling uneasy.
But the truth is, you’re bound to get lost in your twenties. That’s what they’re for. Growing up is the most fascinating yet complicated journey any of us will ever take. It’s not linear, neither is it neat. It’s a messy, chaotic process filled with mistakes, joy, loss, healing, vulnerability, transformation, and learning. It’s the time to get to know the only person that will always be there – you.
I find that young people are expected to think about the big questions too early in life, before they’re even mature enough to know the answers. I’ve been asking myself what kind of job I want to have and where I want to live for so many years, while the questions I really should’ve been asking myself were these.
How do I want to feel every day when I wake up? What kind of person would I like to be? What kind of home do I dream of? Will there be a place in my life for a creative hobby, inspiring travel, and meaningful friendships?
What kind of life do I aspire to live?
Asking questions like that isn’t easy. In fact, it’s terribly difficult. The answers won’t probably be there. But these are the questions that matter as much as those of who we want to be, where we want to work, with whom we want to live.
Learning about yourself is the most important thing you can do in your twenties. You might not find financial security, become a homeowner, land the perfect job, or meet the love of your life. The twenties aren’t for stability, they’re for growth.
They’re for planting the seeds that you’ll harvest later; for nourishing your needs and healing your wounds.
For putting down deep roots somewhere within yourself.