The 14 Things We All Do During a Long Flight

Like every year, the holiday season is the time when a lot of people travel abroad, away from the cold and dark Finnish winter. This year I took off to Australia, which is a long way from Finland. I realized that during those 22 hours I spent sitting in airplanes and 10 hours I spent hanging around at airports, there were some situations that occurred more than once. Inspired by my observations, I wrote down the 14 things we probably all do during very long plane trips.

 

 

 

1. Try not to look suspicious in passport control or security checks, but end up looking extremely suspicious anyway like you’re carrying a bomb in your bra or something.

 

2. Go to expensive stores to pass time and pretend you ain’t broke and could actually afford something. Get judgmental looks from the clerks at Louis Vuitton and stare back at them holding your Fjällräven backpack handles with absolutely no shame.

 

3. Board the plane and immediately have to pee when you’ve found your seat. 

 

4. Eat all your travel candy before the plane is even in the air.

 

5. Get the feeling of freedom and power like you are a majestic bird when the plane takes off. Lose that feeling as soon as the turbulence hits and you remember how high above the ground you are, and how very far away you are from being a majestic bird. 

 

 

6. Get so bored that you’ll actually read the safety card at some point.

 

7. Wonder when they’re going to start offering food.

 

8. Wonder how the flight attendants manage to look so fresh and cheerful when you look like November in Finland and your breath smells like death.

 

9. Watch too many movies in a row and cry over a fictional character from an animated movie.

 

10. Ponder over your life and create a whole new life in an alternate universe.

 

11. Have at least one of the following: an annoying baby crying the whole trip right next to you, an annoying person in front of you who persistently pushes their seat onto your lap, an annoying kickboxer behind you practicing their moves for the whole trip, an annoying person next to you who either never leaves (if you happen to sit next to the window) or has to pee every five minutes (if you’re the one sitting next to the aisle). 

 

12. Fall asleep in a very uncomfortable position and wake up confused, dying of thirst and partially paralyzed. 

 

 

13. Arrive at your destination and try to remember who you are, what you’re doing, and how your legs work.

 

14. Manage to get to passport control and show your lovely passport picture, which looks exactly like you at the moment. Manage to fake a smile when the cool and tanned security guy looks at you with a grin: “You’re from Finland, eh?” Oh yes, I am. Isn’t that just hilarious? 

 

Fortunately this whole ordeal will be forgotten once you’re finally there and get to really start your vacation. This is something you’ve been waiting for and working towards and getting there is part of the journey. I think we can all agree that it simply wouldn’t be the same if you could just transport to your destination in an instant!