The holiday season is here and we’re on the last page of our calendar. After everything 2016 has thrown at us, 2017 is a beacon of hopefulness. So many of the things you had in mind for this year have not happened. “But surely next year,” you think. “Next year I will make sure all of these things happen.”
Hold it right there. Not to rain on your parade, but are these grand plans something you have been planning and preparing for a while or just something you decided after a sudden pang of doubt caused by the realisation that 2016 will be over soon? There’s a reason some New Year’s Resolutions are just a bad idea. Is yours on the following list?
1. “I’ll go to the gym every day/run 5km every day.”
If you haven’t been working out before, starting where the bar is the highest is not a smart choice. How can you run 5km when you get out of breath within 200m? Start slow and making it an everyday habit will be easier. Also ask yourself why you’re doing this. No seriously. Is it because you want to make yourself feel stronger or because the Christmas dinners guilt-tripped you into doubting your body-image?
2. “I’ll quit eating sugar/carbs/fat/gluten” or “I’ll go on the ____ diet.”
Quit is a strong word. Unless we’re talking alcohol, smoking or other drugs (or gluten when you have celiac disease), completely cutting something from your diet is hard and possibly not worth it, at least not as a radical change. Do you even know any paleo recipes? If on January 1 you throw away all the sweets from your home and head out for a run no matter what, chances are you’ll be feeling so miserable and deprived, you’ll slip right back to your old ways.
3. “I’ll quit social media/Netflix/that-one-app-on-my-phone-(you-know-which-one).”
Ok, if you’re actually seriously addicted to something, this might not be a bad idea. However, are you actually going to completely disconnect from people you know who live far away? Do you know how you’re going to spend the time you’d usually use to catch up with your newsfeed or relax in front of a tv? These things probably won’t hurt in moderation.
4. “I’ll become better at adulting.”
If adulting is part of your vocabulary, you’re probably still struggling with the problems people of a certain age have to face eventually. Depending on what you mean by adulting, though, maybe you don’t need to stress about it yet. It’s still okay to ask for advice on how to sort your budget, how to book a doctor’s appointment, and how to how to fold your bedsheets because the way you do it makes them a wrinkly mess. It’s cool. You’ll get there.
5. “I’ll become less of an introvert.”
If you are introvert by nature, “going extrovert” because you feel you “should” is going to be stressful. It’s sacrificing your precious alone time in order to meet people because you “have to”.
6. “I’ll find true love.”
Stop right there. Of course it’d be great if this happened, but this is not something you can set a deadline for. It happens when it’s the right time and the right person. “Yes, well, since I promised myself I’d find true love this year and today is 31 December 2017, you must be the one.” But don’t fret about it. As an old but true saying goes, love happens when you least expect it.
7. “I’ll answer ‘yes’ more often.”
Well, what you should answer always depends on the question. If you feel like you need to change, you can decide to spend more time carefully considering rather than just saying “no” as quickly as possible. But as “yes” does not automatically make you more optimistic, saying “yes” to anything and everything is by no means anything you have to strive for.
8. “I’ll be happier.”
What does “be happier” even mean? Your happiness depends on the things happening in your life, not because you decided on it. Find out what might be blocking your happiness and deal with that first.
9. “I’ll stress less.”
Same as above. Can you control how you react to certain things in your life, whether the workload or the expectations you feel are laid on you? No, probably not, because bottling-up is not recommended. Can you control the source of the stress? Maybe, with a planner and a close friend who’ll listen you vent.
10. The same resolution you made last year but didn’t end up following through.
There must have been a reason that resolution failed. Too high expectations, too quick changes, too difficult to manage… If you really want to give it a second chance, don’t just recycle the same thing. Tweak it into something that’s more achievable.
So, still have a new year’s resolution? As long as you know how to avoid the possible pitfalls, you’re probably fine.
The point is, resolutions don’t work if you’re not prepared. Maybe that’s why, if you really want to change, don’t wait until New Year to do so. If you really want to start a new chapter, you don’t need a calendar to tell you when to begin. Don’t use a calendar as an excuse to postpone your decision until January 1.
But hey, have a Happy 2017 nonetheless!