Why I Hate Rom-Coms but Believe in Love

Before we get into this, let me just tell you that I am not anti-love. I believe that it can happen to anyone, anywhere, and that everyone deserves it. NOW, let’s get into the delusional reality of some RomComs.

First things first, let’s address the typical female lead in the majority of these movies. She’s (obviously) thin, beautiful, white, and oblivious. The movie begins with an “awkward” girl who is either too studious or too self conscious to be bothered with pursuing dating. If we don’t have the Bella Swan, we have the busy mom or the driven business woman: she is someone who has her own goals in mind and is much too overwhelmed to run into a man at an indie coffee shop. Because of this, the writers throw her into what is called a “meet cute”; this is the adorable, happenstance meeting between two people who will ultimately reach a romantic endgame.

Next, we meet the player, the charmer, the mama’s boy, or the geeky bookworm that manages to wiggle his way into her life. His overly confident pick-up line promptsher to say something witty that throws him off, thus further intriguing him about this “mysterious” woman. If this were to happen in real life to a woman hustling through her day, she would most likely tell him to f*ck off and leave her to her business. Or, she would be so uncomfortable with the unwarranted attention that she would quickly thank him and bounce.

Finally, after all the wooing and awkwardness of a regular relationship gets out of the way, we have the impending obstacle. This is the most interesting part of the story because it is that one thing that could keep your favorite ship apart. The obstacle takes on many forms: an old boyfriend back for more, an overbearing parent forcing distance between them, some kind of amnesia that surprises everyone, and (my personal favorite) emotional constipation from lack of expressed feelings.

Regardless of the predictability, people continue to flock to the theaters to see the latest Gosling look-alike rip his shirt off (not even I can resist that). I guess they do give us something in the same way porn gives guys something: it lets us fantasize about something that we aren’t getting regularly in our lives. This emotional porn if you will, lets us imagine the ultimate boyfriend. He’s the guy who surprises us with our favorite flowers, tell us when we are being crazy, and ultimately kisses our a** because he knows without it, he’d be lost.

Even if you hate on these blockbuster favorites, the majority of your friends most likely eat it up just like that Galentine’s Day chocolate. And because you love them, you are going to sit quietly and watch two people on that screen fall in love: a small price to pay for a little fantasy every now and then.