Growing up, I never had a great support system. I’m the eldest daughter of two immigrant parents and that meant that I needed to be the rock for everyone and make sure that everyone was supported. I had no issue with being everyone’s support system but it would’ve been nice to have had the same support back.
Since I spent years living life like this, I refused to let anyone in and support me throughout middle school and high school. Honestly, little me needed a support system because I was only a child when my parents separated and got a divorce. That was a lot for a 12 year old to go through alone. I had made friends, who are actually still my best friends to this day, but I never saw the importance of opening up and letting people be there for me.
There was a point in my life where illnesses, both physical and mental, started to take over and control my life. Looking back, it would have been a great time to finally let go and accept the support and care that people were giving me. Friends and siblings were telling me that it would be best if I received help and saw doctors and a therapist. I should have listened but I didn’t. The feeling of being a burden to someone for my emotional relief made me feel HORRIBLE. I had the mindset that I didn’t have the right to burden anyone because I was supposed to be the person who listens to everyone.
However, a couple of months ago, I hit a turning point in my life. Everything changed. Relationship status, housing status, living situation, working situation; just everything: completely different and in such a short amount of time. And I knew that my life was never going to be the same again. I don’t know how it happened but I became so close with my coworkers who I consider my friends. These people all came from different backgrounds but we were all here to do the same job. A job that takes up so much of our time and days. Nonetheless, these people had their heads on straight. They knew what needed to be done and how to get it done. I was surrounded by people who, although had their own demons to battle, weren’t put in my life to ask for constant help and support.
Now that I’ve known this group of people for months and have spent countless hours with them, whether working or just socializing, I can confidently say that they are my support system. There are days where I cannot physically or mentally handle the workload that I have and these people will run to my room and hold me. I also can vent to them and not feel guilty for feeling those emotions.
I’m still unlearning all of my bad habits, like pushing people away and not opening up, but the support system that I have now is definitely helping me out. I’ve even actually started seeing a psychiatrist and have been prescribed medications. Going from the person who was everyone’s support system to now having my own healthy support system is a great transition that I needed at a major turning point in my life. It’s not perfect but it is perfect for me and I hope to never lose this support system.