My First Vaginal Examination

My first vaginal examination! Hope this will enlighten you and bring some sort of joy during this pandemic.

I made an appointment last Saturday for a test, you know? Just checking to see if everybody was all good down there. Now, this isn’t my first rodeo going to Planned Parenthood. I’ve been there for a test and birth control but never was I expecting to get a vaginal check.

Most of the time they ask me to pee in a cup and boom, bang, we’re good to go sis. However, this time I expressed to the nurse that something was odd but not STD ODD. She asked if I wanted to check; I’m here thinking, “Yeah, check the pee please.”. But she actually meant was a full exam, like spread your legs kind of check. The nurse kindly tells me to remove the lower half of the clothing I have on while waiting for the Doctor. 

After she left I was left alone in the examination room without pants on for five minutes. So, this year I’ve been having really bad anxiety, which eventually leads to panic attacks. I’m sitting here, half-naked, with anxiety. I have heard about vaginal exams and they do not sound fun. This is not something I am excited about but as a woman, it is my responsibility to check if she’s (my vagina) is good.

The Doctor comes in after ten minutes of waiting (they were kind of busy) and gets the rundown from me. She reassures me that everything will be quick and easy, god bless. I don’t hate doctors nor do hospitals freak me out so I’m a very good patient in general. The Doctor pulls out these elongated limbs attached to the thing I’m laying down on (I’m bad with medical terms or even what they are, my bad), tells me to put my ankles on them and scoot my butt closer to her.

I’m nervous right now.

She gets a metal clamp and before she even thinks about putting that in me I ask, “Is that going to be cold?” She responds back, “No we keep them heated.” Another god bless. Planned Parenthood has it on LOCK. She inserts the clamp in me and widens it, so she can check if everything is alright. The Doctor communicates with me that she’s going to swab the q-tips in me. The clamp is okay, the cotton swabs, not so much. 

The whole process went by really quick, would say around 3-5 minutes of the actual process. If you asked a lot of questions because you were scared beforehand it was 5-10 minutes. 

If you get a pap smear it takes a shorter amount of time. I hope you guys enjoyed that funny anecdote! Stay safe and wash your hands!