I would like to say that I’m a baby Christian. Before I came to college, I was not Christian and spent most of the Fall semester trying to figure out if I was Christian or not. Then, when I finally figured out that I was Christian, in my final week of the fall semester. And so I finally made what some people in Christianity consider to be making my relationship with Christ more official on January 29th, 2022 by getting baptized.
I’m going to be talking about 5 different expectations that I had and what the realities of being Christian truly were for me. Just to add a disclaimer, I don’t speak for all Christians, because every Christian has different beliefs and interpretations of what the bible tells us, Christians, to do. I can only speak for myself.
Telling my peers that I was Christian in academic settings.
Expectation:
I expected people to just treat me the same. I knew some of my peers in classes would have some questions and that I would need to know how to answer them. I thought that they would ask things like “how did you come to your faith”, “what made you believe in your faith and what it has taught you.” I expected myself not to be as hesitant as I was about telling them that I was Christian. I thought that I would just tell everyone that I was Christian, since it was such great news for me that I had finally found answers to so many questions about what happened to us in the afterlife.
Reality:
People did not treat me the same. When I told my peers that I was Christian, I always got a confused look from them because I am a proud queer women who is pro-choice, pro-same-sex marriage and does not believe you should have to wait for marriage to have sex. So you could say that their idea of what a stereotypical Christian looked like had just been smashed to pieces when I presented them with this information.
Some of my friends honestly did not know how to approach the topic, whether they were Christian or not. I had a lot of hard conversations that I do not foresee ever stopping and my view on these people who I thought would love me no matter what has changed, because I know that when I have conversations with the Christian community or non-christian about how I am not the stereotypical christian views on me change. I think that was the hardest pill for me to swallow this year.
Making time to worship God with a full-time class load.
Expectation:
I was once told that if you make time for “God in your life, God will make time for everything else.” and at the time I thought that piece of advice was the best and worst thing that could ever be told to me. I expected that it would be hard to make time for Christianity in my life, but God would have my back, right? God would make time for everything else, including school, because having enough time for God is worth it. I expected to be able to read the bible, listen to Christian music, get any questions about Christianity that I needed the answers to, answer and be able to go to Church on top of all that. Now it was a very bad expectation that I had going into it, I will admit, but that was the expectation.
Reality:
Going to college is hard, it is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I am a freshman attempting to get a triple major done in three years instead of four. My class load is that of a junior or a senior. I am lucky if I can make the time to go to church or listen to a worship song in between my writing 5 different essays for all my midterms and finals.
For a really long time I tried to fight against this idea that I did not have enough time to be a super devout Christian, but the truth is, I do not have enough time. I believe that God understands what I am doing is extremely hard and ambitious, so he lends me a helping hand. I have learned that prayer is one of the most powerful ways I can make time for him in my life, because you can pray anywhere.
How I react to going to places with a lot of temptations to sin.
Expectation:
My expectation was that I could avoid any place where I thought that there were a lot of temptations for myself. So the places I believed were a lot of temptations for me were at college parties, certain groups of friends and even my own room at times. I expected that avoiding temptation would be an easy thing to do. I expected that by becoming a Christian these temptations I had to sin would go away because I was born again right to do good things through the lord.
Reality:
The hard reality is you canʻt avoid everywhere that gives you a temptation to sin. It hurt to realize this for myself because by the time I did, I had lost a group of friends that I loved dearly because I thought all I ever did with them was sin. I had lost my best friend because at the time I thought that to be a good Christian you couldnʻt do sexual things with other people. I had tried avoiding my room for months because I thought that is where the most sin I had done in college had happened. The reality is that you can sin anywhere, at any time, with anyone and it is terrifying, but you cannot prevent all sin from happening. I believe you should try not to sin, but sometimes it will happen.
Questions I thought I would be asked vs. what is really asked.
Expectation:
I thought that I would get asked questions about why I was Christian. Questions like what is my story with Christianity, how I deal with being a college student and Christian, what makes me the most happy about being Christian. I thought that the questions I would be asked were going to be on the lighter end of being questioned about a topic and that I would react fairly well to being questioned about my faith.
Reality:
In reality, now that I have been a Christian for about four months now, I can say that I hate questions about my faith. I dread them because, honestly, when it comes to questions I have been asked about Christianity, most of them are up for interpretation and argued heavily within the Christian community. So, at that point, they’re not asking for an answer, they’re asking for your opinion on the topic, which is really intimidating. I know that, usually after I answer, Christians, people will usually disagree with me and, since I am a baby Christian, I do not have the evidence from the bible to back up my claims. I know itʻll take time for me to form my opinions about these topics and the different pieces of advice that I have been given is to direct them to an older member of Christianity, which I honestly cannot, especially when it is questions that are heavily debated and the older Christians I know have more traditional views on them.
Entering the crazy world of dating while being Christian.
Expectation:
I expected to date a Christian man or woman and fall for a Christian man or woman with the same values as me. I thought I would be able to find a Christian that held all of the same non-traditional values of Christianity as I did. I thought God would provide me with this perfect Christian man or woman. I was young and dumb to think that, but that is what my thought process was.
Reality:
I am dating a non-Christian guy right now and I will probably continue to date non-Christian people if this relationship that I am in doesnʻt work out, because there is a stereotype in Christian college circles that you’ll marry someone before you get a degree. I won’t say it is true, but I won’t say that it isn’t true, because I have watched how heavily guys in the Christian community will flirt with any pretty girl they see who’s Christian. I personally think it is really gross because, from my perspective, the guys will try to compete for someone who is not interested in either of them. So, I refuse to be a part of that no sense and my views never match up with Christian dudes’ views anyway.