This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Haverford chapter.
I arrived in Milano with three bags and only two hands to carry them, and the
moment I realized I had to take a train to get to my homestay I had the typical oh-
shit-I-want-to-go-home moment. I thought of every possible reason why going to
Italy was the wrong move for me: I didn’t speak a lick of Italian and my plan to learn
basic phrases before leaving never happened, I love carbs way to much and will look
like an oompa loompa next to the Italian models, I didn’t know if I would have a
good host family, and so on an so fourth.
Now, just over one full month into my program, I am so thankful for the guy on my
program (yeah, still can’t remember his name) who offered to carry one of my bags
and I am beyond thankful for getting on that train. I hauled over 100 pounds of
luggage (don’t worry my next article will be on packing tips) and arrived sweaty at
my apartment in Milano, where my adventure began.
Granted it’s only been a month, I’ve started to pick up on some of the cultural
differences between the U.S. and Italy. Our first day, the program director gave us an
hour presentation on some of these cultural differences we would be experiencing.
Though I feel asleep for three-quarters of it, I did catch him saying before my quick
shuteye how in America, people live to work, while in Italy, people work to live.
Though I did feel like the comment was a vast generalization about two very
complex cultures, I did feel though as a Haverford student, I know how tough life can
get, especially at our school. The cycle seems to go something like: stressing about
schoolwork, stressing about extra-curricular activities or sports, stressing about not
having enough time, stressing then eating, stressing about stress-eating, then
stressing more until you watch Netflix and not get anything done. In essence,
Haverford kids bust their asses.
Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to work hard, achieve our goals, and
maybe ending up with a little extra cash in our pockets, but while we plunder
ourselves in the endless mountains of work, we sometimes forget the value of
human relationships with family and friends. Here in Italy, people work hard, but
they work to live comfortably. And in doing so, they find themselves with more free
time. But unlike Americans, Italian free time does not consist of binge watching
Netflix (because you can’t with the slow wifi) or snapchatting with your bff who
lives in the next dorm over (snapchat is also not a thing here). In Italy, free time
means FaceTime, but actual face-to-face time.
Italians love socializing. With bars and cafes littering each street and corner, people
are always looking to engage in actual human contact and conversation.
Businessmen don’t eat at their cubicles or desks, they go out to lunch with their
associates. Even shops close down during lunch hours so that they can enjoy their
mealtime with friends. Every night, I am consistently amazed at how crowded all the
bars are during aperitivo (basically Italian happy hour), and how people are not out
to get white-girl-wasted, but they’re there to enjoy each other’s company.
While I am loving the less-than-one-hour-of-homework-a-day (if any at all) lifestyle,
I know this is unsustainable and the time to go out 4+ nights a week will soon
disappear once back in America. But even when I begin to wallow in the depths of
stress and work again, I want to make sure I get my daily dose of FaceTime in each
day. Whether it be taking an hour to eat a meal with friends (where no stress talk is
involved) or even meeting and talking to a new person, it’s important to take time to
get out and interact with others.
Because the work to live mentality runs deep back at home, I’m not trying to
insinuate that everyone should slack off and neglect their responsibilities. It’s
important to work hard, but work to live happily and comfortably, with a balance
between fun and responsibility. More importantly, make sure you’re getting in the
real life FaceTime with those you love and even those you don’t know, because
maintaining these relationships will go a long way.