Guys,
Have you ever wondered what we truly want to see you wearing? Here’s just a couple tips from a lady’s perspective on what is hot (sizzle!) and what is definitely not. But don’t worry guys, the key to my heart is confidence. Actually, who am I kidding? The key to my heart is wearing everything I say I like below. Oh well, I guess you can try to prove me wrong?
Stay sexy HaverKings,
Miss Straight Shooter
On what she wants to see you in: My favorite outfit for a guy to wear is definitely a flannel, some fly shorts, and some Vans. Extra points if you wear mid-calves and a hat. Generally, the brighter the hat the better, but if its just getting to the point where I need sunglasses to look at you, it’s a problem. Just kidding, I’ll probably just put on my sunglasses. Also, it’s important that a guy’s shorts are just the right length. If they’re too short and I can see your pasty white legs, its just kind of like “Did you just cop a cameo in Twilight? Ew, get a tan.” But, if they’re too long and it looks like you just stepped out of a bad 90s hip-hop video I’m not into that either. I mean I get it, you’re so hood, but you’re not going get jiggy with any girl with those shorts.
On her favorite shirt: I’m so into guys wearing flannels. They’re stylish, simple, and come in so many different colors. You can have a fun flannel or just an everyday flannel. If a guy is wearing one, it shows me that he’s laidback but still cares about how he looks. But please, wear a t-shirt under that thing. If you’ve got it unbuttoned and I can see your chest hair, it all gets a little too much too fast. You go from being Mr. Dreamboat to Mr. Puh-leez,-no! in .5 seconds.
On pants: I’m definitely into guys wearing form-fitting pants. I don’t mean like skinny jeans that look like the guy stole them from his sister’s closet, but pants that generally just fit. I like jeans in a nice dark wash. They look good with pretty much everything. If you’re going to wear pants, I’m so into colored pants. A guy who is wearing fun pants means that he’s a fun time. So, if you’ve got pink, green, blue, tooty fruity, lobster, dragon, or even martini glass pants bust ‘em out because this lady will surely appreciate them.
On t-shirts: There’s a right and a wrong way to do a t-shirt. Plain colored tees are always in, especially if they’re in a color that brings out your eyes. Statement t-shirts are cool too, unless they say something I’m not into. I mean it’s all good if you want to “Party with *insert word for loose girls here* “but I’m just not going to be one of them. But some girls are into that, so don’t let my judgment stop you from rocking it. You do you.
On jerseys/pinnys: These can be worn on a case to case basis. It’s important that a guy has the right body to be wearing one of these. Just remember, just because the sun’s out, it doesn’t mean that your guns (or lack thereof) need to be out.
On hoodies: I mean, I dig. It’s usually pretty hot if a guy can pull off a bright colored hoodie. If you wear your hood up it also gives you a mysterious look. I definitely am interested in what’s going on underneath that hood, if you know what I mean.
On Polo shirts: I’m pretty indifferent about Polos. To me, they’re like flannels, but without plaid. So, its kind of like why wouldn’t you just wear a flannel?
On shoes: As I said before, I’m really into some Vans sneakers. They’re casual, but still show you have style. Sperry’s are cool too, but they usually go with the guys who wear the Polo shirts. Just please, please, please, don’t wear Crocs. They were originally developed as a spa shoe, and unless you’re planning on taking me to a spa, (I wouldn’t complain) keep them off your feet!
On hair (SHOCKER ALERT): I like it when guys wear their hair down. It’ll look even better if it’s underneath a cool hat. I’m usually into longer, shaggy hair, but a buzz cut can sometimes turn someone who looks “ehhhh” into a Greek god.
Biggest Turnoff: Hands down, heteronormativity. When a guy is just like so into being a guy and judging me, it’s a huge turnoff. It’s kind of like, stop being so dude-ly. So what if I want to eat some nachos at the party? You don’t want to kiss my cheesy lips? You know, some people tell me I look like Jessica Simpson in the Carl’s Jr. commercial when I eat. So, when you’re trying to talk to me, let me do me. You may have drinks spilled all over your shirt too but I’m not one to judge. Maybe I just want to save some for later when I eat everything in sight due to being so distressed by your blatant disregard to my womanly rights!