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5 Ways to Tell if Your Crush is a Softboy

Everyone has met one right? That one guy who seems shy, but deep. He is never obviously a jerk, (at least not on purpose, as he says). Softboys are a new phenomena on college campuses: they’re not like “those other guys”–as in obvious sexists–but are by no means good people. Beware, if someone you’re interested in has any of the following traits (or worse, all of them) you need to get away as soon as you can. These boys are dangerous and will play around with you to no end.

  1. He never listens to you or retains anything you say

This is a general warning sign right off the bat: the dude just doesn’t listen to you. It’s harder to spot at first, but stay around for a bit and you will see him forgetting almost everything about you so long as you aren’t reminding him.

2. He’s an artist, but claims his art “isn’t good enough for anyone”

This is a big one: softboys will often show you their art as a way of coercing you into believing that they are more deep than they really are. They want you to believe that they’re sensitive, which leads into the next point.

3. He is really sensitive to gossip, except when he gossips

Another very typical behavior of the softboy calling people out when they make fun of others, but he doesn’t hold the same standards for himself. He can get away with it, because he’s just joking around, but when other people gossip it’s “very hurtful”.

4. He belittles your opinion

Softboys, regardless of how sensitive they claim to be, have a striking tendency to belittle the opinion of others, especially those they’re dating/are involved with.

5. You find yourself apologizing for reacting to his bad behavior

This is definitely the biggest one, Softboys love to pull the old “Oops, ouch”, in that, they admit they’ve done wrong but they’ll criticize you for not reacting to them in the right way.


So remember, the next time you find yourself crushing on that cute guy in your polisci class who seems really enlightened, he might just be a softboy. Be careful out there.

I write about social justice and FDT-related politics
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