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Relationships: Going the Distance

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Harvard chapter.

Going into college, one of the first things many people may tell you after finding out you’re in a relationship is that it won’t work out and you’re better off not trying. But the thing is, nobody knows if it’s going to work out and distance itself isn’t a guarantee that your relationship won’t last. In fact, relationships themselves are always really hard work and what actually determines how they fare is what you do to make your relationship stronger.

There are some really easy things you can do to remind your SO that you’re thinking of them and that will make them feel special and loved:

FaceTime/Skype calls:

While hearing your SO’s voice will bring you relief and can instantly make your day better, there’s nothing quite like being able to see their face while talking to them. It’s important in a relationship to make each other feel like they’ve got your undivided attention when talking. At the same time, it’s also just really hard on your arm to hold up your phone for more than 10 minutes while talking. Note: Keep in mind that sometimes the WiFi starts feeling like that awkward third wheel that keeps trying to sneak off because they feel left out, so be prepared to get familiar with that struggle.

 

Old-Fashioned letters:

The act of writing out your feelings is almost always instant comfort and once you start it’s really hard to stop yourself. It doesn’t take very long because everything comes very easily once you let it! It’s incredibly satisfying to send an old-fashioned letter, especially when it’s to someone that you love! You can put in dorky jokes and draw your renditions (i.e. stick figures with whatever unattractive piece of clothing you always tease them about *cough* deep v-neck *cough*) of them so they know it’s real.

 

Care-packages/gifts:

Everyone loves getting presents, period. But getting a gift from your SO is beyond endearing, and sometimes the littlest things are the most heart-warming. Even if you’re just sending each other goofy gag gifts, it’s nice to keep up that exchange in your relationship because wanting to give the other something that they’d really like and that would make them happy is one of the nicest parts about being in a relationship.

 

One-liners:

Drop your SO a line about what you’re up to for the day so they feel included. It’s also relieving to have someone to check in with about how you’re feeling and what you’re busy with, so that you feel more grounded and not so easily stressed. It can be easy to get lost in what you’re doing and not feel like talking at all, but at the same time you can’t shut out your SO. Just letting them know that you’re about to crank out that math pset or cry over this 5 page essay you haven’t even started even though it’s due tomorrow by 6 pm lets them know what you’re up to and how you’re feeling, and they’ll probably send you cute texts to help you feel better while you’re at it.

 

Good Morning/Good Night Texts:

Even though you may be on completely opposite schedules (Hey, you may not even be in the same time zone), you can still send each other texts letting the other one know that you’re thinking of them and hope that they’re going to have a good day or a good night’s sleep. In college, life moves so fast. Getting a message from your SO helps ground you and it’s always nice to hear that someone cares about you. And hey, if it just so happens that that morning text is coming in right when you should actually be waking up for class it wouldn’t be a bad thing…

 

Selfies:

Okay, so it’s not like you’ll forget what the other looks like but it is always nice to get a selfie from bae! If you mostly text each other, it can start to feel very impersonal and sending a selfie switches things up a bit so that you feel more connected with each other. Also, sending each other goofy faces during lecture will also double as a way to keep yourself awake!

 

Before you decide to pull the plug, consider how you actually feel about the relationship because distance can be easily forgotten if you’re keeping in touch and expressing how you feel about the other person often. Regardless of which part of the world the person you love is in, it’s always nice knowing you have them there and by the law of relationships, they have to put up with your weird jokes and love your unattractive goofy faces you always make in your selfies.

 
harvard contributor