Dear Freshman Year Aubrey,
I know that right now you are homesick and you wish more than anything that you were lying down in your queen-sized bed with your puppy at your feet and your sisters yelling at each other right outside your door, but I can tell you that a day will come in which your “school” bed becomes just as much your bed as your “home” bed. I promise that you will soon be able to navigate your room without the lights on and that you won’t trip over the tennis shoe to the right of your dresser, because you will know your new home like the back of your hand. I promise that at the end of a long day, you’ll be excited to walk into your dorm and find the smiling faces of the friends that have become family. I promise that you will have two homes by the end of freshman year.
I know that right now you think a long distance relationship is the best expression of love and commitment there is, but I can tell you that it is difficult to grow and bloom when your “other half” is three thousand miles away. Right now, you think that if there is love, there is a way, but sometimes it is okay to admit that you deserve more than just love. I promise you will heal, you will find new reasons to smile, and you will be okay.
I know that right now you think the most important thing in the world is studying and that socializing is secondary (or tertiary…), but I can tell you that it’s all the ‘other’ stuff in college that make life worth living. When you think you bombed a quiz, you’re going to want amazing girls and guys that will put a smile on your face and an arm around your shoulders. When you find out that your quiz grade was Harvard-inflated and that you aren’t actually failing out of Harvard, you’re going to want to celebrate with those same people. So I know that this year, it’s going to be hard for you to break out of your introverted, lonesome shell, but I promise that by sophomore fall, you will have found some of the most incredible women on Harvard campus with some pretty beautiful souls, and that your guy friends are going to be the funnest bunch of people on the planet. So put down the books at LEAST every other Saturday night. Because the real treasure of Harvard is in the hearts and minds of your peers.
I know that right now you are nervous for winter… And damn girl, all I can say is you are more than right to be nervous. Winter SUCKS. But you’ll be home for break to enjoy the California sunshine before you know it. So be sure to flop down on the ground, make a few snow angels no matter who is watching, and please please PLEASE buy your snow boots before February, because I promise you that rain boots are insufficient.
I know that right now, you are positive you know exactly how your life is going to work out. You think you have set your concentration, you think you’re getting married to your high school sweetheart, and you think that living on the East Coast would be the most terrible thing in the world. But I can tell you that uncertainty is more exciting, more invigorating, more freeing than the ‘certainty’ of knowing exactly what will happen. I promise that the day you realize that the next five years—hell, the next five days—are a mystery will be one of the most beautiful you’ve yet experienced. You’ll realize how much more you will change over your lifetime, you’ll realize that every day is a chance to fall a little bit more in love with the woman you’re becoming. I promise that letting go of some of your certitude will be blissful.
I know that right now, you’re scared you won’t be accepted for who you are. You are afraid to make a fool of yourself, you’re afraid to be wrong, you’re afraid to admit how much you LOVE Harry Potter. But I can tell you that over this next year, you will learn to appreciate your own quirks, you will learn to laugh when you fall on your ass in the dining hall and break a cereal bowl, you will learn to accept that you send ridiculously emotional/crazy/obsessive texts after midnight. Freshman Aubrey, you will grow to accept yourself for who you are, and in doing so, you will be able to love and cherish everybody around you even more than you’d imagine. I promise that you will be happy with who you are.
So, good luck getting through Expos and good luck with the worst winter New England has seen in a century. I’ll catch you on the flipside.
Much love,
Sophomore Year Aubrey