Expectation: Salad bar? I’m going to lose SO much weight this year!
Reality: Unlimited frozen yogurt and cookies? I’m going to make an ice cream sandwich.
Expectation: I’m going to meet my husband.
Reality: I’m going to meet this guy I’ve been talking to on Tinder.
Expectation: Nobel Prize-winning professor? I’m going to go to office hours EVERY week.
Reality: Nobel Prize-winning professor? I’m going to find someone really tall to sit behind.
Expectation: I’m going to put in the effort to actually look put-together in college.
Reality: I’m going to wear the same pants I wore yesterday and hope no one notices.
Expectation: I don’t have class until 9 AM? I’ll wake up at 7, hit the gym, stop by breakfast, do a little studying.
Reality: I have class at 9 AM? Is that even legal? Can my alarm clock even be set that early? Is there someone I can talk to about this? I don’t mind changing majors if I have to.
Expectation: I’m going to have some really attractive TFs. We’ll probably run into each other at parties.
Reality: My TFs are broke grad students who shower less than I do and like to take their thesis-stress out on my grade.
Expectation: I’m going to pay close attention in class.
Reality: I’m going to finally beat 2048 in this class.
Expectation: Free gym membership? Time to get toned!
Reality: I’m going to take a cab to the Science Center.
Expectation: I’m going to be pre-med.
Reality: I’m majoring in History of Science.
Expectation: My friends and I are going to have really intellectual conversations.
Reality: My friends and I just spent two hours arguing over the definition of a sweater.
Expectation: High school guys are just immature. College guys are going to be so much better.
Reality: Did he seriously just lick his own throw up?
Expectation: I’m going to go out every Friday night.
Reality: I’m going to go to Tasty Burger every Friday night.
Expectation: I’m going to do all of the reading for this class.
Reality: I’m going to read at least half of the Spark Notes for this class.