Growing up I remember, my mom, grandmother, aunts, and even my older cousins always telling me that I should wait to have sex until I was married. For a while, I was scared to even touch a boy. They had convinced me that if I didn’t wait until marriage God would punish me for my sin. That punishment would range from unhealthy soul ties to pregnancy to catching an STI, or any other terrible repercussions they could think of that would scare me. For a while they had me shook and scared out of my mind, but as I got older I started to become my own person with my own personal views on the concept of “the wait.”
I also started to become very curious as to what sex felt like and if it was everything that people had made it out to be. The summer going into my senior year that curiosity had ended, the wait was over, I lost my virginity. Let me be the first to say, it was not everything that everyone had made it out to be. It was honestly painful, uncomfortable, and awkward in my opinion. Although it may have been all of those things, I don’t regret my decision to have sex before I was married. Losing my virginity honestly made me comfortable with my body and sexuality.
I’ve always felt like the concept of “the wait” has been used to control young women. That if we don’t wait then we are deemed “fast” or a slut. The reality is that it’s our decision to wait or not. Our choices should be respected and without judgment, but that would only happen in a perfect world. Sex is a pleasure that everyone deserves to indulge in and enjoy. Young women should make decisions based off of what they feel is right and what they want to do, not based on the opinions of others. Now, I’m not going to lie to you – if you are not a smart cookie, then you could get pregnant or catch an STI. Please be smart with your decision if you choose not to wait! Use condoms or get on birth control if you can.