The perfect family. A mom, a dad, the kids and a white picket fence are all of the components of a happy family. At least this is what society embeds into our minds that this is the standard we should live up to in order to be happy. People often times associate separated families as being “broken” and as a result, they assume the child is broken as well. For most of my life, this ideal situation has not been my family dynamic. Most of my life was spent between two different households and split between getting enough time in with both of my parents. A situation like this often times brings confusion along with it. The fact that my mother does not share a last name with me is a common concept that just seems so hard for people to wrap their heads around.
Seeing friends and perfect tv families being able to live and grow up in a household with both of their parents has always been envied by me. However, growing up in this environment has allowed me to grow with a different perspective. I view relationships differently and I am not so nieve to the assumption that happy smiles equal genuine happiness. Yes, sometimes it is difficult. Being with one parent often times mean you aren’t able to be with the other parent. It just all depends on the situation your family is in. Trying to balance your relationship with the ones who gave you life can be tricky, especially at a young age. The one thing you do not want to do, is favor one parent over the other. Although your parents may be the one “beefing” they are still your parents and they still want what’s best for you and splitting up, may have been what was best for you and them at that time. The relationship you have with your parents is one of the first forms of relationships you experience. Many times, the failed relationship of your parents can affect how you view relationships, but at the same time you cannot let their relationship stop you from finding your own happiness. Not gonna lie, for a while I was filled with so much anger and confusion. The time when my parents split up, I was still at a young and impressionable age. I was forced to pack my stuff up and move to a new place, make new friends and leave behind one of my own parents, my father. I was confused, hurt and distraught over the fact that all of my friends got to go out with their big happy families and I didn’t. For a while, I used this as an excuse. This became the source of all of my anger and resentment. I often times lingered over the thought of what life would’ve been like had they stayed together. Despite all of this, as I grew older, I knew I couldn’t stay in this mindset. In the end, they were still my parents, still the ones who supported me the most and still the ones who loved me unconditionally. I started to value the time I spent with them more. Seeing myself in both of them drew a closer connection in their own ways. I view the relationship with your parents as the blueprint of your future relations.
Either way, separated or together, do not let unsuccessful examples of bonds ruin you or the relationships you come in contact with. It is their decision not yours, but always continue to show your parents the unlimited love they show you.