“Cuffing season’s hereeeee…” sings Eric Bellinger, a former favorite artist of mine.
Tis’ the season of cuffing, so they say. Who is to put a time stamp on when I should find love? October marks the beginning of a dating season, eliminating options and securing a significant other. Cuffing season wraps itself up by the end of February after a major romantic holiday, Valentine’s Day. But cuffing season is more than just looking for a significant other, it gives you a deadline for when to transition into and out of intimate relationships.
Let me quickly jog your memory on cuffing season’s timeline.
Cuffing season is approximately four months. Between October and November, you should be enjoying the dating game by exploring your various options. By Thanksgiving, you will want to have selected the best competitor to potentially bring around friends and family. In December, you should pretty much know whether or not you want to commit to a potential relationship with your counterpart. January may include you testing the waters of a relationship with such individual. Last but not least, February is supposed to determine whether you two will make it or break it as a couple.
Cuffing season stopped existing in my world once I realized that it lacked any benefit to my emotional well being.
When I attempted to participate in cuffing season for the first time, I was a high school student.
Often surrounding myself around people who were in relationships, I found myself wanting to be desired by a male counterpart. Thus, when cuffing season was approaching I went on a manhunt to scout out potential candidates. Having little to no experience with dating, I was not too specific on what I wanted from a guy. I did know that I wanted to feel validation. Sometime in December, I had established a form of relationship with a fellow classmate and we ran trial and error. Our relationship, which was very much so a situationship, had become a complete fluke.
Nothing about it was remarkable. We were young and dumb and everything that could have gone right went wrong. A situationship full of errors is exactly what I had experienced. I wasted my time participating in a phenomenon? To feel validated?
Since that experience, I have yet to recall any period of me revisiting cuffing season. I believe my lack of participation in cuffing season has been beneficial for me, to say the least.
Although, I am no expert at dating, I do know that moving at my own pace has granted me the time to discover what I would genuinely like to experience in an intimate relationship.
When thinking about my desire to find love, I think of an everlasting love. What kind of love would you find when you abide by the rules of cuffing season? I would say you would find an artificial placeholder to get you through those next four months.
Sure, cuffing season is a great way to explore with a person of interest. The exploration could work itself out one of two ways: a long lasting relationship or a sudden break up. I’ve witnessed a countless number of relationships end after Valentine’s Day because of the transition into “single summer”.
Of course, not all relationships end post cuffing season. The results vary on the individuals within the relationship. But what about the long lasting relationship with one’s self?
Cuffing season doesn’t advocate for those seeking security in their relationships with themselves.
It emphasizes the need for another human being, which is extremely problematic; consequently, I am not a huge fan of the season.
This year I dedicate cuffing season to choosing myself. There is no male counterpart that can adore, validate, and support me more than I can. If anything, I can potentially give myself more than he can. With that said, these next four months and so forth are dedicated to me pouring into my own glass. I mean who would be better to cuff anyway than myself?