Long distance relationships can be hard but that doesn’t mean they’re impossible. With trust, honesty, and communication, your long distance relationship can stand the test of time. This week I collaborated with my friend Cameron Harris to bring you five tips to survive the distance.
- Remember why you started
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Keep your end goal in mind during the relationship. This will help to motivate you to stay in it. All the stuff that made you gravitate towards your significant other can easily fade away when you’re not around them. It seems hard to believe, but it’s true. As the relationship progresses and you are both engrossed in your separate lives, remind yourself and that person how much you love them and you want to stay with them.
- Communication is key
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Being unfiltered or unbiased while communicating will make all the difference in the long run. Tell them about things that are going on with you or things that happen in your day to day life. They’re not there to see you or the events in your life, so share it with them. You want to make them feel as if they’re still with you. But communicating about your life will only get you so far. You have to communicate about the relationship as well. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend know where your head is to ensure that you’re both on the same page behind the scenes of your relationship.
- Be Creative
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Don’t be so repetitive in your approach to the relationship. Be mindful that you can’t treat this relationship like a regular one because it truly is different. Spending quality time together, going on dates, and getting to know each other are all changed when distance is involved. For example, the only means of communication you have now is the phone, but that can get dull after a while. Change things up every once in awhile. Play games on the phone or just be silly by sending goofy pictures to each other. There are apps you can use like Snapchat or iMessage (Memoji) that can help you avoid the usual dry text. You can also research different texting games or games to play on Facetime that will allow you guys bond while being so far away.
- See them when you can
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There’s nothing better than seeing someone after months of not seeing them. It doesn’t have to be you always going to them, they can come to you as well. For the times that you can’t see them, do your best to exercise the tips given above – especially about communication. That is a big component of a long-distance relationship. When you’re further apart, your mind can run wilder. Thoughts can come from anywhere and be very negative, but you can’t let those things rule your mind.
- Honesty is the best policy and trust is a must
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If you’re having second thoughts, really sit down and consider those feelings. Be honest with yourself about what you want. Long distance relationships may not be for you and that’s okay. Don’t settle for less than what you want. Also be honest with that person. Don’t shy away from sharing what is truly on your heart. Honesty is always the best policy.
On the flip side, if you come to the conclusion that you want to be with them, that will carry you through the hardships. The love you have for that person will be what pushes you through. And if you really want it, no one else’s opinion will matter. The negative comments will not sway you.
Cameron Harris says: “If you don’t have trust, you shouldn’t even be in a long-distance relationship.”
Trust is a big part of long-distance relationships because you literally don’t know what this person could be doing, but you’re trusting them and their decision-making anyway. It can be hard to trust someone else. But it helps to do your part – do little things to ensure their trust. And this all goes back to communication. Let your significant other know where you’re going when you go out. Let them know about your friendships with people of the opposite sex. You’ll get to demonstrate maturity and they’ll get to demonstrate trust.