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Dear Piper: not Swiper

Dear Piper,

How can I protect my possessions from the Piper Swiper?  



Dear Piper not Swiper,

Unfortunately Dora’s phrase, “Swiper, no swiping,” won’t help you in this situation, unless you find the Swiper in the act. Luckily, there are some things you can do to protect your possessions.

First, you can keep your possessions locked. So if you live in the dorms or apartments, make sure you lock your doors. I get that it’s annoying to constantly be unlocking your doors when you have a million other things to do, but this way you are less likely to have to replace those nice Beats by Dre headphones you saved up for or your family’s priceless jewels.

If you commute or just like to have your possessions closer to the buildings you are in, you can fees as though you are traveling back to high school and have a locker. For commuters, the commuter lounge has lockers. Just type in ‘commuter’ into the hamline.edu page and it will come up with the form to fill out a locker request.

If you are the sporty type or spend all your time across Hewitt, you can get a locker in the Walker Fieldhouse locker rooms. You can talk to the front desk about getting set up with an amazing locker or you can use the daily lockers if you don’t want to leave your stuff in them overnight. These will need a padlock to ensure no swiping takes place.

A pro tip basically no one knows that the lockers in Drew Science are up for grabs. All you need is a padlock and voila, you got yourself a locker. Plus those bad boys are one of the bigger options for lockers. Also, if you are antisocial, you don’t have to talk to anyone; just throw on a padlock and you are the owner of your very own locker.

You won’t always be able to lock up your possessions though. If you are having a ten hour cram session at the library and you drink one of those 31 ounce Trenta sized coffees, you are going to have to go to the bathroom at some point, and you aren’t going to want to pack up everything just to unpack it. If you have a study buddy that you trust, you can just ask them to watch your stuff.

If you don’t have a study buddy or don’t know anyone around you, then you are stuck trying to figure out who to ask to watch your stuff. I typically just ask the person that is closest to me, because they have the best view and honestly they are right there and I am lazy.

If you do not feel comfortable asking someone, then you have two choices: one go to the bathroom and risk it, or pack your stuff up and take it to the bathroom with you. I suggest taking your stuff with you if you don’t feel comfortable asking or if no one is around to ask. Plus, after you go to the bathroom, you can go to a different part of the library. If you are staying there for a long time, you probably need a change in scenery anyway.

I wish you well against the Piper Swiper and if you do see someone taking your stuff or your roommate’s stuff or coach’s stuff or President Miller’s stuff, feel free to shout ‘Piper no swiping’ at the top of your lungs. Or contact Safety and Security.


Patricia Piper

To submit asks to Patricia Piper email hamline@hercampus.org

Patricia Piper is a proud Hamline student who loves long walks on the beach, reading and helping people. She has a PHD in interpretive dance. loves to rescue cats in her free time and has about twenty in her house at one time.