Every woman should at some point in her life have three things: a little black dress, a few secrets, and a best friend. Getting the first two are easy, it’s the latter that is sometimes difficult. Also, I’m not talking about someone you call your “best friend,” but in reality actually isn’t. I’m referring to the kind of friend that actually knows you, from your darkest secrets to your favorite color. But what happens when the line of friendship starts to blur, and things progress to the next level? If movies like Just Friends and Brown Sugar have ever taught us anything, it is that sometimes when you go looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, you might just end up with your best friend. However, unlike these movies, sometimes the “happily ever after” doesn’t come true at all.
The Cons
1. It Can Ruin Your Friendship
Once you cross that line and hook up with your best friend, there’s no going back. Whether it was a one-time drunken mistake, or an intentional hook up that went bad, your friendship is potentially on the line. When egos get involved and miscommunication occurs, conversations between you two can become awkward and uncomfortable. You suddenly find yourself giving each other polite tight-lipped smiles and subtle nods when passing each other, until the moment you both start flat out avoiding one another. This is when you know the once great friendship between you two no longer exists.
2. It Can Create Changes in Your Social Circle
So the hookup went well, and now you two are an item. What sounds like a positive can actually be a negative when you factor in your other friends. Now that you two are together, whenever you have a fight or disagreement, you unintentionally put your other friends right in the middle of your drama. As well as whenever dating someone, best friend or not, spending time with your other friends is crucial. But what happens when you and your signifcant other have the same friends? And both of you are spending your “friend time” in addition to your “couple time”? Every couple needs time and space from each other every now and then.
The Pros
1. Friends with Benefits
A way of getting the “best” of both worlds is being friends with benefits. This occurs when the two of you enjoyed the hook up, yet don’t want to take things any further. This allows you to be intimate with your best friend whenever you both want, while not losing your friendship in the process. However, the greatest flaw of being friends with benefits, is that eventually someone is going to want more emotionally, get jealous, or even possessive of the other person. It is not a state that one can stay in forever, but if you happen to be in it, you should enjoy it while it lasts.
2. No Awkward “Getting To Know Each Other” Phase
Where are you from? What’s your favorite song? Do you like cheese? When you’re dating your best friend, you can skip all the small talk and 20 questions. You two already know the small things about one another. There is no awkwardness and you can feel free to be yourself. As your best friend, this person has seen you at you worst and at your best. There’s nothing you can’t say to that he or she won’t understand or judge you for.
3. A Long-Term Relationship
The best scenario of hooking up with your best friend is being able to form a long-term relationship. This is the happily ever after with rainbows and unicorns that most girls seek when making the next step with their best friend. Who better to date than the one person who knows you as well as you know yourself? A great friendship really is the foundation to a long-term relationship. It’s important to be with someone who you enjoy being with and feel comfortable around.
Despite the pros and cons, no two best friends or relationships are the same. Whether or not you two are soul mates or just meant to be friends, my best advice is to live life the way Marilyn Monroe did: “Nothing last forever so live it up. Drink it down. Laugh it off. Avoid the drama. Take chances, and never have regrets. Because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.”