Last week I received a flood of panic-induced messages from my best friend –she had found out the guy she has been dating is a Trump supporter. She was confused, concerned and horrified. How could she have become so attached to someone whose political views were so diametrically opposed to her own? She was shaken to the core. Her concerns were only further combusted with confusion as he was the most respectful person she had met at college. How did she miss the signs? And more importantly, did this mean she would reconsider the relationship moving forward? My other friends’ responses read, “Trust your gut,” or “Politics should not affect how you feel about a person” etc. But the question was more complex than it first seemed. To what extent should a person’s political leanings impact a relationship?
Media outlets are constantly using the term “polarized” to characterize the current environment of American politics. While American politics have always revolved around a two-party system, limiting a wide array of ideas and policies, these lines have seen to become far more rigid since the 2016 election. Trump’s campaign was fueled by using feelings of economic anxiety, racial resentment and anti-establishment embedded in certain parts of the country. His populist campaign reached far into these populations’ roots, stoking fear across voters, and creating an even stronger divide among parties. At the same time, those opposed to Trump can find unending faults in every action of his presidency – no act goes without some level of criticism.
Depending on which side of this divide we occupy, each of us seems to tune into the channels of information that reinforce our feelings, opinions, and beliefs. I may like to think that I talk to Trump supporters and can see their side, but my daily New York Times notifications and theSkimm articles manifest a heavy imbalance of perspectives when it comes to politics. In setting up this context, it is clear that we live in a politically isolated environment, but should this matter when it comes to relationships?
When I responded to my friend’s text, I was quick to type, “He has to go.” But on further reflection, I now wondered if this immediate reaction made any sense. This question is asking for a far more complicated answer than that. And the answer is one, I am forceful in stating, I will not be able to answer for every individual reading this piece. Instead, I am here to argue that we need to have conversations with one another.
While our political climate is heavily “polarized,” just by using the term I am guilty of making this divide stronger. There is no requirement that we attack and refuse to listen to the other side, so why not take the time to discuss our political differences? I am not suggesting that this is easily done or can be quickly accomplished. I am also not naïve enough to believe these conversations will convert those who disagree with me to automatically accepting my viewpoint. And for certain topics that are of particular importance to me, such as abortion and immigration, I can’t assume I will find these conversations easy by any means. But what merit is there to constantly telling those with whom you disagree that their opinions are of no value. Instead, we should ask questions, listen to their points of view, and attempt to understand where they are coming from. Most importantly, we should try to suspend our initial judgment of the other side, for the world we are living is far more complicated than it is just “polarized.”