Does changing your personality based on the people around you make you fake?
We all know those people, the ones who are loud, charismatic and boast an extroverted personality when they’re with their friend groups but then add a person of the opposite sex, or a stranger to the picture and suddenly its as if they have lost their voice and they’re the calmest and shyest person in the room. We all know those people, the ones that you talk about with your best friend after a group hangout and use words such as “fake’’ and “identity crisis’’ to describe the events that had unfolded prior. Can one be mad at someone for flipping the switch on their personality depending on the people who are surrounding them at that moment?
A year ago, I would have said yes, be mad, there is nothing more annoying than feeling like someone is altering who they are to fit in with whatever crowd they are presented within that moment. But coming to college, feeling the opportunity we all have to, in a manner, reinvent ourselves to be the people we want to be, the people it’s possible we were not able to be back at home has allowed me to see that a person altering their personality based on the crowd they are around may be annoying, may be irritating, but it is also purely human. I think very few of us can say that we have never had thoughts similar to I wish I could just start over, get on a plane travel a thousand something miles and land among a group of strangers and at that moment decide who we want to be. I have recently realized no money, travel or change of life situation is necessary in order to implement this change of personality. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a change in personality, to wake up one morning and decide you want things to change, you want to be more patient, you want to make yourself say less and judge fewer.
The majority of us, and by us I mean humans, are not just one-sided monotone people. We have layers, we can determine when and where we want these layers to be seen, to be shown and to be shared. We can be outgoing when were surrounded by other outgoing energy, or when we over caffeinate and sleep little the night before. We can be shy and scared when placed in a new city, or a new circumstance or tasked with something we have never been tasked with before. As functional, intuitive and observant individuals in the world, it’s no surprise that we take in our surroundings and our company and decide from there the best way to move forward with our choice of conversation, energy, and volume.
In 2020, we need to realize that a person leaving a situation saying something or doing something that we don’t recognize as their normal way of approaching life and situations isn’t them being fake, it’s possible it’s actually the opposite. It’s possible their evolving, choosing to reinvent themselves or show a layer they may have never felt comfortable sharing before. Showcasing a side of yourself people aren’t used to is not fake, it’s human.