Even with all of the rain we’ve been having lately in the district, one thing you never hear a GW girl say is, “it’s rainin’ men…HALLELUJAH!” Although men falling from the sky might be a little heavier than our umbrellas can handle, most GW girls would welcome such an occurrence with open arms. (Literally – we’d be running around with our arms WIDE open – hoping to catch as many falling men as we can).
There’s no denying that this type of rain would end the “drought” that frequents the top of GW girls’ lists of complaints. (Sorry boys, but now you know what we’re doing when we go to the bathroom in pairs: 90% of the time we’re talking about how this school offers slim pickings, and we’re using the warmth of a public restroom to console one another).
But to be fair, this problem is our own fault. We chose a school without a football team, in the center of a metropolitan city, with one of the highest tuitions in the country…um HELLO?! What type of boys did we think such a place was going to attract?! We’re in an urban haven, where the closest thing to a football field is the national mall – which, I might add, is lined with pink cherry blossoms. So why are we so surprised that this school is lacking the “sporty/truly fratty/non-spoiled” guys? Clearly this breed of boys would rather be at a school like the University of Michigan or Indiana, where the beer flows from hoses and football games are a weekly occurrence.
Meanwhile, GW primarily attracts the boys who prefer Grey Goose that flows like fountains into one another’s mouths, and consider “S H A D O W R O O M” Saturdays to be more exciting than “game day” Sundays. While these guys are great at helping you decide on an outfit, or getting you onto the “VIP” list at Josephine’s, there’s something non-masculine (and not sexy) about their closets filled with Gucci loafers, and their kitchens filled with the south beach diet series of cookbooks.
Now, I would like to pause for a second and say that I am NOT generalizing all GW boys into this category. I am lucky to have found some of you who do not fit this metro-sexual, high maintenance, self-grooming mold. But at times, this conquest has felt more difficult than finding a deli that’s open in Foggy Bottom on Sundays…(and we all know how hard that can be).
But just because a mission is difficult does not mean that it’s hopeless. So if you girls are at the point in your “drought” where you can’t remember the last time a raindrop has landed on your shoulder; don’t fret. If you follow my advice, you can be dancing in the rain before you know it. (Or in this case, dancing with the rain because rain is supposed to be symbolic of a guy…in case you haven’t caught on yet.) So here are my dos and don’ts if you want to find the “normal” type of guy at this school:
1. Do not
expect to meet him at Shadow Room Saturdays. At best, you’ll be leaving the club with a stamp mark that you accidentally rubbed all over your face, a sweaty pony tail in your hair, and a bladder filled with watered-down (blue) Vodka. *Even if you do leave the club with a guy, look down: he’s probably wearing a pair of $800 shoes and $250 jeans. Hooking up with such a guy is only okay when you can hide behind the “shadows” of Shadow Room; the second you step onto the moonlit sidewalk I would advise that you take off your heels – and run.
2. Do
expect to meet a good guy at the gym. These are the guys who do not consider a night of dancing at Shadow Room to be cardio fitness. They are athletic guys, and are more likely to know how to use tools than to be a tool themselves. And, they look extremely sexy when they parade from the weight room to the water fountain in their sleeveless shirts. So don’t be afraid to whip out the neon sports bras and go for a ride on the elliptical – nothing makes working out easier than having some eye candy to drool over.
3. Do not
expect to meet him in one of your Communications classes. Of course there are some exceptions; but the majority of the time, if the guy is looking to pursue a career in public relations or event planning, they are not looking to pursue a relationship with a female.
4. Do
be on the lookout when you go to the super market. Guys like to eat, and they often do their grocery shopping in packs. Every time I’ve ventured to Trader Joes or even Whole Foods, I’ve seen a group of cute guys stocking up on pasta and flexing their muscles as they carry their baskets. Trader Joes even gets the Georgetown boys…(as if you need another excuse to buy food).
5. Do not
expect to meet him if you always go out to the same places. Be adventurous. A lot of young (cute) professionals/grad students go to the bars in Dupont, and the Georgetown lacrosse team is always at Rhino Bar in Georgetown…(and they all look like they could be on the cover of GQ). DC is a diverse city with hundreds of bars, so stop confining yourself to the walls of Foggy Bottom! Go out and meet someone who’s unfamiliar with the buff and blue. (Then again, even GW students are unfamiliar with the buff and blue…but you get my point.)
6. Do
take up a hobby or something you’re passionate about. If you pursue your interests, you’re more likely to find someone with similar ones. (Not to mention, you’re far more likely to find someone worth dating when you’re both sober). The more focused you are on doing something you love, the more likely a guy will be attracted to you because of your drive and ambition…rather than because of the way you look in your red skinny jeans and black low cut tank top.
So the moral of the story is: stop complaining about the male-to-female ratio at GW, and go out there and spice up your routine! Explore new terrain, and do you. You’ll realize that the upside of “droughts” is that they bring heat – and the hotter you feel; the more likely you’ll find a guy to ignite your flame.