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How Do You Know When It’s Real?

Unlike the majority of Americans who spent Halloween dressing up in costumes and covering their faces with masks; Kim Kardashian decided that Halloween would be the perfect day to do the exact opposite.  Instead, she finally took off her “mask” and exposed the truth about her marriage to Kris Humphries.

This “earth-shattering” news sparked a Twitter frenzy, as angry fans (and non-fans), accused their marriage of being a fake publicity stunt – one that was done for money, fame, and to solidify their thrown as the king and queen of reality TV.  Meanwhile, Kim claims that she “married for love” and that her short-term relationship with her giant NBA hubby was the real deal at the time.  

Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing the truth behind this k-squared fairy tale, but their story makes me wonder: how do you know when a relationship is real? When it comes to people’s intentions, how can you be sure that they’re dating someone for the right reasons?

Celebrities are not the only ones who have a hard time deciphering the naughty users from the honest saints.  Real women, (and men), face this challenge in every relationship; only in our world, fakeness isn’t sugar coated with $2 million engagement rings, $19 million E! specials, or three Vera Wang wedding gowns.  Instead, we face issues like, “Is this guy only into me for my body?” “Does this girl only like me because I’m captain of the football team?” “Does he only like me because he needs my help with his math homework?”  “Does she only like me because she wants to marry a doctor?”

These types of ulterior motives create the foundation for an unstable, unhealthy relationship, which is why it’s important to recognize the evidence and get out while you can….(before you walk down the aisle on national television).  So, below is a list of clues that will help you determine whether your guy is truly into you, or if he’s just a man on a mission.

Fake Real
He only texts you on weekend nights after midnight.  This is not ground for a relationship; this is ground for a booty-call. And thanks to today’s technology, there’s a handy-dandy feature called a mass text message, so don’t fall for it when he says, “I just want you.” What he really means is, “I couldn’t get anyone else at the bar tonight, and you’re the only girl responding to my text right now.” He texts you during the week – in the middle of the day, (sober) – to ask you how your exam went and to see if you’d like to get dinner together later. 
He only shows an interest in you when you’re wearing a low-cut dress or tight skinny jeans. 
He shows an interest in you when you’re frantically sprinting to your early morning class without makeup on.
He only contacts you when he needs help with something. He contacts you when he knows you need help with something and he wants to offer his assistance.
He constantly talks about how cool it is that you live in a fancy building, or drive a fancy car. He constantly talks about how cool it is that you have a passion for journalism and that you spend your free time doing volunteer work.
You never go out for meals together unless you count the times that you’ve re-heated left over Dominos together at 3am.  He wants to take you out to your favorite restaurant and he already knows exactly what you’ll be ordering.

Of course these rules are not set in stone, and every set of guidelines comes with its exceptions.  But the better you are at recognizing that someone is dating you for the wrong reasons, the more likely your relationship will last more than 72 days.  (Although, I do give Kim credit for lasting 70 days longer than Britney Spears….No offense Brit, I’m still a ‘slave for you’).  

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