It’s the summer after senior year of high school and you’ve been dating the same great guy since sophomore year. You’re heading off to different colleges and you begin to ask: Do you stay together? Do you break up? Do you “zip code” (be together when you’re in the same zip code but have an open relationship when you’re not)? There are countless options and finding the best one that works with your unique relationship dynamic can be difficult.
Take it from me, four years into a relationship with my boyfriend from sophomore year of high school. We go to school on opposite coasts but are still totally happy in our relationship! Working through it can be hard, but with these tips, it can be a whole lot easier.
1. PLAN OUT TIMES TO VISIT EACH OTHER
It can be really overwhelming, thinking you aren’t going to see each other until Thanksgiving or Winter Break. That unknown can add to a lot of conflict and create room for thoughts about splitting up. A good way to avoid this is to plan one or two trips for the fall, maybe switching off with who visits who. The expense can make it hard but save up for the trip (you don’t need new clothes) knowing that it will be so worth it!
2. MEET THEIR FRIENDS
When you do get the chance to visit, try to meet his friends and maybe even follow them on Instagram. This can help you understand what daily life is like for your SO. It’s hard to go from being together all the time in high school, with the same friends and environment, to having totally separate lives. Meeting all of his friends gives you a little glimpse into what his new daily life is like. Also, it makes it harder for the new girls in his life to make any moves if they have actually met you.
3. DON’T OVER DO IT
It can be hard to not want to constantly be chatting with your long-distance SO. The transition from high school to college is hard, and it is normal to want to lean on someone you love. However, try not to be too extra with the texts, Snapchats, and Facetimes. Be open about discussing what amounts and types of communication work best for both of you. You could also try to get a grasp on the other’s schedule, so you know what times are best for them to talk.
4. TRUST THEM, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO
Trust is more important than ever when in a long-distance relationship. Suddenly there is time difference, going out with friends, and general college life. Even if your SO is going out a lot or always with friends, that may not mean they aren’t dedicated to you. Don’t freak out, as that can just start a whole lot of issues. Even when you really think you shouldn’t trust them, I’m sure you can. You can still grow together, even if you are physically apart.
Relationships are hard, for anyone. But if you are happy and your partner is happy, a little distance trouble won’t stray you away! Talking things through, keeping the jealously away, and making time for each other are just a few things you can do to make your long-distance relationship just as strong as when you’re together!