We know the feeling all too well: running out of patience over the millions of questions we are asked over Thanksgiving dinner. And it’s not just your aunt asking: it’s the entire family. Upon arrival at grandma’s house this year, we’re sure to be met with all these questions we’d rather not answer. Just a heads up: keep everything you say short, sweet, and simple. Overgeneralize at all costs and remember that excessive details are where things get awkward.
Disclaimer: This piece is dripping in sarcasm, take it as you will.
1. What’s next after graduation?
What you’re thinking: UMMM I DON’T KNOW I’M A FRESHMAN. I don’t even know what my next meal is going to be let alone what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life. Please refrain from asking me this question forever… or at the very least, for the next four years.
What you actually say: That’s tough, I don’t really know yet, I’m still trying to figure out what I’m interested in. By taking a wide range of classes with different topics, I hope to discover what my true passion is.
2. What’s your major?
What you’re thinking: WHAT’S MY MAJOR…? Really? Didn’t I just tell you not to ask me any more questions relating to academics?!
What you actually say: I’m a [blank] but I’m keeping my mind and options open and taking lots of diverse classes.
3. Do you go out in college?/What do you do on the weekends?
What you’re thinking: No, what’s a social life? What are drugs? What is alcohol? Actually, I sit in my room and read that book you sent me when I moved in. It’s fascinating, thank you so much.
What you actually say: Yeah, GW social life is fun. We stay in shape by running to the monuments and there’s always a new part of the city to explore.
4. Do you have a boyfriend?
What you’re thinking: Yes, Prince Charming has swept me off my feet and we’re currently residing in the presidential palace itself. In fact, we’re planning our wedding in the south of France for next summer.
What you actually say: I’ve met a couple of really interesting guys, but I definitely haven’t found the one. I feel like I need to focus on my studies before I think about getting into a relationship.
5. Have you made any new friends?
What you’re thinking: No, I sit at home alone, twiddle my thumbs, and eat all day long. Everyone hates me and I hate everyone else. Don’t you know I’m too socially awkward for friends?
What you actually say: Yes, actually I joined a sports team so I’ve made friends there! I’ve also met a lot of great friends on my floor too! GW has definitely been a welcoming place!
Pro-tip: When Grandma has that look on her face like she wants to ask you something nosy, jump in first and ask her what her secret was to all this delicious food. Diversion is key…
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Photo Sources:
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