You’ve probably said, or at least heard, the phrase ‘hot mess’ before. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve said it about yourself. Normally, I don’t think much about saying this phrase, but when I say it, I mean it negatively. But recently, I’ve been thinking about it much more, wondering: why is it bad to be a hot mess? Shouldn’t everyone in their twenties be confused, wild, sleep-deprived, attractive, and lonely all at once? I’ve decided that I think they should.
Your twenties should be a time of experimentation. It’s about trying new classes, dating new people, discovering what you like and don’t like about yourself. You have to figure out the actual, scary adult world, get an education (if that’s what you decide is right for you), and get your first big-girl job. You have to go to the doctor without your mom and, even worse, make the appointment yourself (ugh). Your twenties are a decade of finding your confidence, your career, a potential significant other‒you know, the things that are going to help define you for the rest of your life. That stuff isn’t going to figure itself out overnight, you have to make some mistakes, fail a little, and have messy, imperfect relationships first.
I don’t think being a hot mess is a bad thing at all. I think you have to have some messy-bun, sweatpants mornings and up-too-late, wasting your time talking to the wrong guy nights before you grow into the super-confident, super-successful woman you’re going to be someday. Because of that, I’m happy to be hot mess right now. It means I’m growing into someone interesting and incredible that can do anything I set my mind to.