It’s exam season and we’re all a mess. Leftover pizza has become our only source of nutrition, our bloodstream consists of 90% coffee, and all of our sweatpants are in the wash so we’re wearing pajamas to campus. During exam season, anything goes. Nobody will question why you’re asleep on the library floor because it just makes sense. But there’s still one thing that is never acceptable, even during exam season: talking on the quiet floor of the library.
If you talk on the quiet floor of the library, you are a disappointment to the entire Guelph community.
That might sound harsh, but it’s the cold truth. You are letting us all down. Do you see that girl over there with 48 assorted coloured gel pens and a stack of cue cards? You completely ruined her study session vibe. Do you see the guy surrounded by empty coffee cups wearing a pizza-stained hoodie? He’s been trying to memorize mathematical formulas for hours and you just messed up his focus. Do you see the girl who turned her cubicle into a blanket fort and has enough snacks to last for the next 12 hours? That’s me, and I’m pissed. I’m pissed because I’m trying to submit a 20-page term paper by 11:59 p.m. and all I can think about is the sound of your voice.
Exam season is a busy time, and the quiet floor is the only place that some of us can find solace from our over-crowded campus. In contrast, there are plenty of places that you can go talk about your weekend plans. Why don’t you try to find a table at the UC? Or MacKinnon? Or the Bullring? Or – consider this – why don’t you try to find somewhere to sit on the loud floor of the very building you are currently inside?
On a busy day at the library, there could be 200 people sitting around you on the quiet floor of the library. I would know, because I just counted 200 cubicles while I waited for you to finish talking. That’s 200 people sitting in dead silence. 200 people who are extremely stressed, extremely tired, and have absolutely no interest in hearing about what you’re planning to eat for dinner tonight. Are you not embarrassed that you have disrupted 200 people with your selfishness?
For those of you who desperately need to talk to your friends on the quiet floor of the library, I have a solution for you. It’s called texting, and it’s really simple. All you have to do is pull out your phone and type out a message to your friend. Really, that’s it! It truly is possible to communicate with your friends without dragging 200 other people into your conversation.
Please, for the sanity of the people around you, don’t have a conversation at a normal speaking volume on the quiet floor of the library during exam season.