Nowadays, we often feel the need to fit neatly into a box which society has constructed for us. This box comes with a form about our identities, asking our names and our hopes and dreams. There is even a little space designated for our sexuality. While there is some amount of lenience with how you choose to fill out this form, there is one catch: everyone expects you to have it filled out.
But what if you aren’t sure about specific aspects of yourself?
Undoubtedly, everyone has asked this question before. And while everyone deserves an answer, it is especially important for LGBTQ+ youth to be given one.
LGBTQ+ is an umbrella term encompassing every gender and sexuality under the sun but, more significantly, it is a space in which the queer community can find comfort and safety.
But what about those who feel they fit into this community but do not know exactly how?
How are you meant to fill out this form and fit neatly into your box with so many uncertainties?
The simple answer is; you don’t.
It takes a special kind of person to be brave enough to disregard societal expectations and focus on personal comfort and well-being. Even once you do decide on a label, it’s likely that this label won’t always feel right. While the queer community is full of different identities, many of which you might sort of fit into, it does not mean you have to decide.
L-G-B-T- (and the often forgotten about but so, so important) Q.
The Q is often interpreted in two ways; queer or questioning. Pride is a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community, including all the different Q’s. Right now, though, I am writing to the questioning. So;
Dear Q,
I am here to remind you that you deserve to be celebrated. You deserve love and acceptance for who you are at this exact moment, no matter how close you are to filling out your form.
Your journey of self-discovery is always valid, no matter what. Especially if it is a journey of sexuality. If you are struggling, Q, take a moment to realize that sexuality is fluid.
Young adults all over the world are struggling to try and figure out who they are. Trying to make sure they themselves are happy while also keeping peace with everyone around them.
They are completely unaware that, unlike what it seems, there is no deadline. You are allowed to take as long as you need to decide who you are and, more often than not, it will take a couple of tries to get it right.
It is okay to label yourself and then, some time later, to realize that this label has stopped fitting. There is no guarantee you will get it right the first-time round.
It is okay to have chosen the wrong label, or even to not choose a label at all.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all the strangers who gave you this box and form in the first place. So, for you, there is only one rule: the form only has to be filled out if you want it to be.
In the meantime, Q, paint your box with the colors of the rainbow and be proud.