Let me start by getting this out the way now: you are not perfect, and you can’t be perfect. No one in this world is perfect. It is so hard to hear, but it is the truth, and I struggle with perfectionism, so I understand entirely how difficult it is to accept that fact. Growing up, I was that person who hated making mistakes because I never wanted to disappoint the people in my life, and that created a terrible fear of failure. I was scared to fail, and I would overwork or stress myself so that I wouldn’t, which ultimately lead me to fail because failing is part of life. However, I didn’t understand that, and I just also hated making mistakes and being wrong.
I’m also a Virgo, so that stubbornness is real when it comes to being wrong.
I learned, especially after starting college and becoming an adult, that you can’t please everyone. To be perfect would mean that you know everything in the world and how to do it right. That’s not even realistic. I realized a difference between wanting to be the best version of yourself and trying to be a perfectionist.
Wanting to be your best self is something to strive for every day that you wake up. It could be working on the characteristics that hinder you, such as procrastination, laziness, or overthinking. It could mean speaking for yourself more, going after that position you wanted, or putting in the work for that business plan you created. Most importantly, being your best self means knowing that you are human and making mistakes, and be much kinder to yourself. The best version of yourself understands that mistakes happen, she learns from those mistakes, and she strives to be better and more robust than she was yesterday because those mistakes taught her a lesson.
With perfectionism, you don’t think the mistakes are lessons. You see them as the end of the world and dwell on them so much that trying to be perfect hinders you from growing. It keeps you in a stagnant place because you don’t want to accept the fact that you fall short, and that is okay. What’s not okay is thinking about something that’s in the past and not putting your best foot forward and just moving on because life waits for no one, and it will keep going while you are stuck in your head thinking of what could’ve been.
When you make mistakes in life, break it down and do something different the next time. If that works, great, and if it doesn’t, then try again. Life is really about trial and error, messing up, getting back up, and finding the solutions. “Failure is the mother of success,” and that, to me, means that to reach success, you will have to make mistakes that teach you what went wrong and how you can do better. When you learn those lessons from your failure and go through those tough times, you will appreciate the success and the W’s way more