The essence of college includes freedom in food choices, when you go to sleep, when you study, when you party, and who you decide to get to know. With so much freedom in the palm of your hands, possibly for the very first time, being involved in a relationship on campus can be tough! There are temptations, pressures to be single, time balancing and the fact that relationships are not easy! This does not mean abandon the potential love of your life because there’s a challenge involved (hello, we’re in college, the grand challenge in itself). We can explore some simple ways to keep you on track with your hunny, while still having fun and conquering those GPA goals!
AVOID TEMPTATION: Notice it says “avoid” temptation and not “fight” temptation. Emotions triumph logic at times and we are all human, so we’re prone to making mistakes! That means we will still be attracted to other people, and fighting temptation will have you lose whether you are a person of high or low will power. Being human means we can and will do things we never expect to, or intend to all because our flesh is weak and unreliable. You can love someone to the moon and back, but if you’re attracted to that new cutie in your Psych 3150 class, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t test the waters of trying to get too close to them. Love triangles are no fun, and people tend to get hurt in the process. However, that doesn’t mean avoid the person entirely, but just keep boundaries in check with your thoughts, and with your interactions.
Plan Dates: It’s nearly impossible to balance studying, work, sleep, organizations, and a social life, but we manage to make it happen. The reason we’re able to manage such hectic lives is because everything we do is something we want to do! If you want your relationship to actually work, you will set aside time for your significant other. This can be a quick lunch date if your classes are hectic, a study date (if you both can focus), a movie date, anything that makes you both happy! If you’re more into spontaneity, then you can easily plan when to meet and go with the flow. If they aren’t on campus with you, FaceTime, Skype and other video chat preferences you have are all great resources. Remember that being in a relationship does not mean you have to spend every second together, but spending quality time is still important to your growth together as a couple.
Communicate!!! This may seem like advice you would say “duh” to, but it’s actually very common to leave this out of your relationship, which can lead to consequences. It’s easy to subconsciously assume your significant other can read your mind, but they can’t guess everything you’re thinking. Communication in itself is important, but how you communicate is also a deal breaker. It’s understood that there are serious pressures in college and as a young adult, but that does not give a pass for projection of emotions onto your boyfriend/girlfriend just because you can. You’re together for various reasons and one reason should be to support each other, so make sure you do. Talk about your day, express the negative and positive, but don’t forget to also listen.
Don’t Waste Time: Assess the relationship to be sure it’s what you want, what they want and that your time nor their time is being wasted. The worst thing you can do is to be deeply involved in something, putting your time in and energy into it, but only getting drama from it. Being young means that we have options at our disposal and being in a relationship is not a necessity. Both parties should be equally involved. If the energy you put into someone is not worth what you’re getting out then it’s time to move on, or it will take away from everything else you’re working on.
Maintaining a relationship in college is way more extensive than avoiding temptation, planning dates, communicating and being sure it’s worth your time. Utilizing these four pieces of advice will definitely help to keep your love life in check while maintaining the many demands of college!