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The Five People You Will See On Your Facebook Feed: Valentine’s Day Edition.

For some, Valentine’s Day is the holiday that is explicitly intended to remind the single that they are single. For others, it can be a time to express self-love, anger, romantic love or whit. But for most of us, it’s that special time of year where scrolling through our Facebook Feed gets a little more entertaining. These are the five people you will be most likely to see during the holiday of love.

The Modern Aristotle:


The Modern Aristotle will question the philosophy behind Valentine’s Day. They’ll spend days, weeks, and hours analyzing, scrutinizing and mastering the history behind the inherently evil holiday. They will unravel its capitalistic motives and take you for the candy-loving fool that you are!


The Bitter Brussels Sprout:


The Bitter Brussels Sprout will question your social-media ethics and misunderstand bitterness for sarcasm. They will add a hit of sass by placing a passive aggressive emoticon and vaguely sullen tone somewhere in the post.  


The Honest Abe:


The Honest Abe would walk three miles to return the extra change they accidently took; this hero asks for a water cup and only gets water. They’re single, ready to mingle and not afraid to pay on first date and/or a date.


The Generous Mary:



The Generous Mary will most of the time be an aunt or close family friend you see twice a year. This is the person that will wish you a Happy Valentine’s day through two different platforms, a text message and a traditional letter. The well-intended message will be appreciated though, allowing you to realize that though you’re alone, you still have that one aunt that loves you.


The Jocular Reminder


The Jocular Reminder will evoke a laugh. They will remind you to not take this day too seriously. Valentine’s Day is simply another page in the book that is your life and though you may feel alone, you are loved just as much on the 14th of February as any other day.

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