Social interaction exhausts me, I’ll be the first to admit it. So it was so surprise that, when orientation weekend came around and the idea of Just getting out there was being drilled into our heads, I resisted. I missed my family and my friends from high school, and all I wanted to do in those first few weeks was curl up in my bed, read, and listen to sad music.
After a few days of solitude, however, I realized that I needed to make a change to my lifestyle. I couldn’t be a hermit all year, and at any rate, my bedroom was starting to stink. And so, like one of the knights in the book I was reading, I set off on a noble quest: a quest for friends.
It’s no secret that I like to plan, so instead of taking my small group leader’s suggestion and sitting down to eat with a group of random people, I set myself a list of goals. After all, the best knights made color-coded, aesthetically pleasing lists in their bullet journals before embarking, right? (Cough.)
For me, the idea of sitting down with strangers and trying to be friends with them felt forced and uncomfortable for me, especially because so many of the people I saw in the COG each day didn’t have anything in common with me. Instead, I started small. Phase one of my quest involved sitting down next to nice-looking people in my classes and introducing myself to them. During lulls in the class, I tried to find some common ground with my potential new friends. I complimented one girl on her rain boots in Stats and discovered that she lived near my home in Oregon. I noticed that a guy in my Bio section was reading one of my favorite books, and for the first time in days, I left a conversation without feeling exhausted. These small steps built my confidence just enough for Phase Two.
For Phase Two, I focused on getting my potential friends’ contact information. This was kind of awkward at first, because it took me awhile to perfect my technique. At first, I just kind of sat quietly with my Snapcode conspicuously in sight and hoped that they would ask to add me. Eventually, though, I learned to just ask point-blank. It spared me a lot of anxiety to bite the bullet and say, “Hey, can I get your number?” Besides, I think people appreciated that they didn’t have to ask the awkward question.
After texting my new contacts for a few days, I finally decided that it was finally time to fight the metaphorical dragon on my quest and engage in Phase Three: asking someone to hang out. Feeling like a middle schooler asking someone to dance after standing against the wall for hours, I came up with ideas for friendship-building dates. We could grab coffee, walk to a thrift shop for a round of shopping (college style), or, if I found an introvert like myself, ask if they wanted to come over and watch Netflix for a little while. I decided on the last option, gritted my teeth, and picked up my phone. Like the brave knight I had become, I texted a girl from one of my classes and asked if she wanted to come binge watch something with me. She replied that she did. And that’s how I ended my knightly quest: laughing over episodes of The Office and not feeling lonely for the first time in what felt like ages.