If you know me, you know that I still carry the major crush I had on Jesse McCartney when his Beautiful Soul album was released in 2004. I remember being in Barnes and Noble with my mother, checking out the music library, and finding the album—it was the first time I had heard of him or listened to his music. I enjoyed it so much that I took my father’s walkman (from those pre-iPod days) with me to elementary school so I could listen to it at recess. I binge-watched Summerland, learned all the words to his new albums (which I still know), and even made a poster full of pictures from Google Images along with, of course, an exaggerated amount of sparkles and glitter.
Though I don’t still hang that poster in my room, I proudly admit that I frequently jam out to some of my favorite songs of his from my childhood. His music made me more than a fangirl over the years, however, and impacted my self-esteem extraordinarily, in the best way possible. Songs like “Because You Live,” my all-time favorite, “Come to Me,” “Tell Her,” or “Just So You Know” are among many of the songs that remind me of how genuine a relationship can and should be. Jesse’s songs talked about his appreciation and love for his girl and how he wanted her to be open with him and to come to him if she ever needed support. The songs were about reminding her of her beauty and why he loved her. His lyrics rang with appreciation and truth, and, as a young girl, they opened my eyes to the beauty of love—something I wish was not being tainted by a lot of the music produced today.
I admit that I have still struggled with finding the confidence to show my true personality around other people at times. After constantly being called “weird” in my very early schooling and being shut out by my class at lunch for being different, I thought I needed to change. Though I still take the time to open up completely to new friends, I feel comfortable with my personality. I think the reason why I like to “throw it back” every once in a while and listen to his music is because it reminds me that someday I will be committed to someone who truly appreciates and loves me, and I won’t settle for less. So, just a message to all eligible bachelors out there: I apologize for the unfair standards Jesse instilled in my heart over the last decade or so. Sorry, not sorry!