On April 24, 1990, my father moved to the United States to live with my mother, just one day before her birthday. After spending his 32 years in the modest city of Nykøbing Falster, always within ten or so miles of the house in which he was born, he was undertaking the greatest, and likely most intimidating, journey of his young life.
My international heritage has been a part of my life since my earliest memories, and I consider Denmark my second home; the bikes, the villages, the seaside, the history all become images of my identity. Though I have few relatives there (with whom I cannot quite communicate), I love and cherish them just as I do my family in the States. I root for Denmark during the World Cup and Euro Cup, and I take pride in the country’s equestrian accomplishments. I make sandwiches on rugbrød and delight in æbleskiver. On my 21st birthday, I want my first drink to be a Carlsberg.
In his journey as an immigrant, my father made tremendous sacrifices, some that still resonate today. But while he has become an engaged member of American society and plans to become naturalized within the next few months, nothing can change his love for the motherland.
In the light of a refugee crisis that is stranding hundreds of thousands and America’s debate over who can stay and who must leave, it is more important than ever to acknowledge the sacrifices made every day by immigrants. Thus, I present five important things I’ve learned from my father and his experience
How to Swear in Another Language
Though I never learned to speak Danish, I certainly picked up a few choice words. As a child, I thought them Viking battle cries, but reflecting upon them now they are pretty humorous. My mom and dad both would swear in Danish to spare my ears, but if anything, they expanded my library of curses and made me more competent at scaring people.
Immigrating Ain’t Easy
This goes without saying, of course, as many people around the world, particularly refugees and others displaced by conflict, are attempting to find acceptance, safety, and above all a place to live. While my father never had to escape war or oppression, he still endured the hardships of immigration. Trying to grasp American culture, learning colloquial English, leaving his family, and having to wake up at six on Saturday mornings to watch Premier League were only a few challenges he faced; he also had to find work, make friends, and overcome the stigma associated with immigration. And, let’s not forget, he had to give up his favorite foods.
It’s a Learning Process
While my dad’s understanding of American culture and the English language has improved tremendously, there are still discussions and experiences he has yet to have. Sometimes he uses the wrong verb tense and struggles to pronounce “shrimp” (and once he referred to the grocery store Food Lion as “The Lion King”). He, along with all other immigrants, have to work just a little bit harder to find success and acceptance and, most importantly, to learn how to thrive in a vastly different society. He has absorbed a lot during his 16 years in the states, but he is still discovering new aspects of American life.
Home Is a Relative Term
My father lives and works in Maryland, but his real home will always be across the Atlantic. In fact, that’s how he describes it when he returns to visit his family in Denmark: going home. It’s similar for me as well: while I think of Gettysburg as the center of my life, my workplace, my school, and indeed my home, I can never truly part with my Maryland childhood. He’s taught me that it’s okay to have multiple loyalties; where you come from can be just as important as where you are.
Have Compassion for Those in Transition
While my dad faced challenges in his immigration, I feel lucky that he did not have to endure the hardships and discrimination faced by many of today’s refugees. He has raised a family, had a career, and found happiness in this country, and he has helped me realize that so many others, whether the be fleeing violence, poverty, or war, deserve the same chance. While immigrants from South and Central America and refugees from the Middle East struggle to find acceptance and, more simply, a home, I have learned from my father’s experience that to be compassionate and welcoming are the most important traits.
I don’t always agree with the political or social climate in Denmark and, honestly, I find the food a little yucky. I may never learn to speak Danish. But regardless of all this, there is still a little bit of Viking warrior in me that can’t be denied. My dad didn’t, after all, make his sacrifices for me to forget my identity.
Plus, one can never get “We’re red, we’re white, we are Danish Dynamite” out of one’s head.