It seems like everyone on campus is either boo’d up or trying to be boo’d up. Everyone is looking for that special someone who’ll make their life meaningful instead of focusing on what’s most important: themselves.
I was always taught that God comes first and then others while putting yourself last. This strategy is applicable to many parts of life; however, it is not applicable to dating. While God should come first no matter what, you should put yourself first instead of others when trying to find your perfect match. This might seem a little selfish; however, how can you find the perfect man/woman when you don’t know what your definition of “perfect” is?
This is the main reason why I decided to remain single and stop searching for love. I have seen too many people getting cheated on forcing me to realize that I needed to analyze myself in order to come up with my definition of the perfect boyfriend.
Throughout the analyzing process, I came up with multiple reasons to justify why I should stop looking for love. If you’re still convinced that you have to find love, here are some reasons why you should stop:
Reason #1: Dating DON’T bring Someone Happiness
For someone who has never dated anyone, I consider myself to be a pretty happy person. I know what I like and don’t like and that plays a huge role in my social life. If you’re dating someone to find happiness then you will never find it. Happiness is fleeting meaning that happiness is something that comes and goes whether you like it or not. Dating someone for the purpose of being happy is something that you should avoid.
During this step, I realized that constricting happiness to one person is not healthy. When you and that person break up, what will you do now that all your happiness is gone? Finding someone that will add to your happiness, but not replace it, should be the ultimate goal in any relationship.
Reason #2: You Have to LOVE Yourself
How can you love someone if you don’t love yourself? I came upon this realization after listening to a Justin Bieber song. I can’t expect someone to love me when I can’t even love myself. Instead of trying to find a boyfriend/girlfriend, try to find yourself.
If you’re unsure on how to love yourself, take time to realize that you are beautiful and amazing despite what you may think. During this process, I took time to learn new things about myself. I justified why my favorite color was black, realized why I hate partying and determined that I liked exercising only when I found ways that made it fun. I’m not suggesting that you should self-evaluate yourself; however, understanding yourself through love will help you be transparent on the search to find the perfect one.
Reason #3: Never Rush Love
Love is not a paper due at 11:59pm. You can, but shouldn’t rush to finish a paper; however, you can not do this with love. When you rush, you neglect and skip parts that shouldn’t be skipped and neglected.
Most people don’t pay attention to this part when searching for that special someone. People want to feel as if they are special to someone which is why they rush to find love. Having the feeling where you think you’ll never find love is definitely not fun; however, it’s sometimes essential when looking at the big picture. It make take 1 month, 1 year, or 10 years but you should never speed up the process called love.
Throughout this journey, I realized that I did not need a man in my life in order to feel full. I’ve been single since birth and I’m not desperately searching for someone to change that. If I find someone who will be an asset in my life then I’m willing to allow them to fill the role of being my boyfriend; however, I’m not searching for someone. I quit searching for love, because I found it in myself and you should too.