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Terms and Conditions: What’s Not Up for Compromise in A Relationship

You cannot have a healthy relationship that is based solely on your needs and wants. A relationship cannot thrive if everything is done according to one person’s terms only. There will be times were compromises will take place in your relationship, however, do realize that you do not have to offer everything up for compromise.

Sure, compromises can be made on what to eat, what movie to watch or who’s driving, but you need to draw the line and know that there are things you should never have to compromise in any relationship. Your relationship should not change who you are, your values and what you are willing to put up with, so you may be led to reconsider your relationship if it is encouraging you to compromise any of these things.

Your Friends

If you have friends who treat you poorly, take advantage of you or do not have your best interest at heart and your significant other points out this toxicity, then it is more than likely being done out of love. When your significant other has an issue with you having friends for no good reason, this is where the line gets drawn. You do not have to give up the friendship you have had with someone since grade school that has always been there for you only because the person you are romantically involved with says so. You need to distinguish whether your partner is looking out for you or trying to control you.

Your Family

The love you have for your family is unmatched. If your family treats your partner well and puts in an effort to make them feel apart of the family and your partner still has an issue with them, then that is none of your concern. Your relationship should not pull you away from your family. Are we really together if my mom does not like you, anyway?

Your Goals and Aspirations

Your significant other should support your goals and dreams and you should not compromise them for anyone. If he/she tries to encourage you from chasing your dreams or thriving in that career you have always wanted, they are not the one for you. You deserve to be with someone who will also be your number one supporter with anything you decide to pursue in life. They should be pushing you to be great in life and live it to the fullest, not try to bring you down and keep you sheltered. We are not having that.

Your Happiness

Your happiness needs to be a priority. I refuse to be in a relationship that brings me nothing but misery and tears, and you should not settle for that either. If you were happier before your relationship, then it may be time to abort mission. Someone who loves you will do everything in their will to see that beautiful smile upon your face, not slap it off. Relationships should be fun, and your partner should be someone you can count on to bring out the best in you. Be mindful, you should not rely on another soul to make you happy: do not let another person be your main source of happiness. True happiness is not dependent on anyone but yourself – and that’s facts.

Your Decision to Remain Celibate/Abstinent


If you are practicing abstinence or have decided to be celibate, your partner has no other choice but to accept and respect that. Make that known before you hop in a relationship with someone because it will scare the wrong person away, and that is what you need. You are not obligated to give anyone anything, nor should you ever feel you are stuck between having to choose a person over your beliefs and values. Someone who cannot respect your values cannot love you fully. If he/she has a problem with this choice of life you have decided to live by, save your energy and let them go.








I'm either at home writing or sitting at the nearest Starbucks. Writer. Poet. Womanist. PR Girl 
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